If you want to save your marriage, the question of how you are going to be dealing with your spouse is of paramount importance. There are different methods that have been tried and have proven to be failures time and again. Let’s go over those failed methods which at first seem so tempting but prove to be disastrous.

1) The “Why don’t you do it my way” method

This is the method of choice by those who think they can see the whole picture even though their spouse is blinded by either emotions (as in the case of a male presenter) or ignorance about women and family matters (as presented by the female presenter). The utilization of this method seems so obvious to the presenter who is usually astounded and completely exasperated by the lack of receptivity they encounter. The presenter doesn’t recognize the condescending perspective they have. They completely dismiss any intelligence and wisdom their spouse may have. Obviously, this method only works on dogs and other creatures that live to be told what to do.

2) The “You owe me” method

This method is usually used by those who think they have a handle on “fairness” and believe their view of fairness supersedes any sense of individual free will. This method incorporates perfectly reasonable questions that ought to be discussed, but does so in a confrontational, impossible-to-succeed way. The user of this method seems only to be aware of individual rights when it comes to their own. 3) The “Can’t we just talk this out” method

This method makes the most sense in any situation other than a marriage or other type of human relationship that is based on love. The heart is not a mind and does not do very well with practical responses to soulful yearnings. A broken heart requires much more than an intellectual discourse.

If you want to save your marriage the first thing you must do is recognize what happened – what you did – to shake it from its foundation. You need to go back through your personal memory file to see if you have been a loving, caring and supportive spouse. You have to ask yourself very personal questions that you would ask somebody else if they came to you with the problems you are now facing.

Do you know what it takes to be a good spouse?
Have you been more selfish than serviceful?
Have you been courting your spouse throughout your marriage?
-OR-
Did you take your spouse for granted?

The healthy and happy marriage is much simpler to achieve than you can imagine. Naturally, it helps to gain an understanding of what marriage is and the behaviors that enhance your marital relationship. All of the couples I worked with were blown away by the simplicity of marriage and what is required. There is no reasonable reason to throw away or walk away from your marriage. Well over 90% of marriages that appear to be on the brink of ending can be turned into marriages of distinction that would provide an inspiration for others who are struggling in their marriage. Treat your spouse with love and affection now and forever.