I think you’ll find my approach to infidelity warning signs a bit different then what you have heard from top psychologists. My approach is not for you to spy on your spouse, but rather take a look at your own behavior. If you don’t bathe your dog you won’t need to check it for signs that it needs a bath. If you don’t bathe your dog you can be 100% certain your dog is going to stink. Similarly there are certain behaviors that will affect certain spouses in certain ways. Not every spouse will cheat. Some will internalize the pain and rejection they are feeling. But I think I just gave away what drives most spouses, who are capable of infidelity, to cheat on their spouse. People get married in order to have a loving relationship with the person they believe will provide that environment for them. Yes, it is selfishness that causes us to get married. But it is selflessness that causes our marriage to be happy. If you are a spouse that is not giving love to your mate you are creating the potential for infidelity. I am not saying you are responsible but I am saying you can prevent it simply by doing what you said you would do when you married them.

1. Don’t be a victim.
2. Don’t give up on your marriage.
3. Don’t give up even if you discover your spouse has been cheating on you.
4. Don’t make a big deal of it even if you find out.

Instead strive to be the kind of spouse that no one would ever cheat on because they would never want to lose you. This goes for both men and women. You deserve to have a very happy marriage, the happiest marriage on earth, but deserving it is not enough. You have to do what it takes to make one. Regardless of what is going on in your marriage at the present moment tell your spouse, “I love you.”