By the time most people have been married a few years they have allowed the spark of intimate passion to recede almost to the point of nonexistence. Is that what you signed up for? When people initially meet someone they think will be suitable as a life partner, they imagine waking up with a smile on their face and seeing their best friend by their side. They imagine mornings filled with a few intimate moments before jumping into the daily grind. The beginning of a relationship is filled with excitement and anticipation. Where did it go? Do you still want that? Or have you gotten used to a dreary existence with your husband? Do you want that spark back? Most women want to be loved, appreciated and seen as beautiful. They don’t know how to communicate with their man in order to get those things. Most women don’t realize their men are often confused about what to say and do to please their women. Out of frustration they read magazines and watch TV programs that are meant to educate women about how to reignite the flame in their relationship. There is nothing wrong with that but it is inadequate. Could you imagine when you were learning how to drive getting into a car and taking off without complete instructions? That’s what you did when you got married. Having someone giving you helpful tips as you are driving a car and banging into things is the same as not really understanding marriage and getting helpful hints to reignite the spark in your lives. The first and next thing any married couple should do is get a manual for marriage. Probably the best one available is the one that I wrote, Lessons For A Happy Marriage, but there may be others out there. In the meantime there are a few intimate questions you can ask your husband that just may get those embers glowing.

1. Honey, what do you see when you look into my eyes?
2. Sweetheart, do you see in my eyes how much I love you?
3. Baby, where would you like me to massage you… everywhere?
4. Handsome, do you want to know what you can do that really turns me on?

Ladies, I advocate a woman’s role as a nurturer who entices her husband towards higher planes of intimacy. By bringing the energy to the heart a man, a woman can discover the true meaning of ‘soul mates’. That doesn’t mean a little candy once in a while will hurt you. On the other hand if all you eat is candy and don’t balance your diet with nutritious meals the candy will rot your teeth and destroy your digestive system. Healthy intimacy will sustain your marriage with joy and mutual admiration, and the candy will keep a smile on your face. Before you go to sleep tonight put your lips to your husband’s ear and slowly whisper, “I love you.”