Marriage Help
from A to Z

Most of our clients are women whose husbands are in an emotional, active, or sexual affair, multiple affairs, repeat, or worse….. Because we never learned about ourselves or marriage, the most significant percentage of people who are married suffer. So, and this is what works, we ask you to consider what happened to you to be a call to action, a shout from the cosmos, to now heal your marriage. We know that what is common is to leave him or suck it up and continue, but honestly, the best option is to heal your marriage so the conditions that allowed for his betrayal are not there anymore.  Here is what one (there are hundreds) woman reported back to us.

When someone uses traditional marriage counseling or other courses, they faithfully hope, “This will work; I just have to give it time.” Because marriage counseling isn’t direct or to the point of gaining specific results, one can only hope. Our courses, on the other hand, begin with knowledge and techniques, or you can call them tools, that prove themselves as you use them. Also, the way to success is outlined so you can see how you will progress and the milestones you will hit. There isn’t anything mysterious. You will know right away. Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.

Although couples counseling is widely accepted, it doesn’t mean it works. When Paul started saving marriages in 2001, he began with a couple (who came to him for divorce mediation because that was his profession). That couple succeeded, so naturally, he then worked with couples. But he quickly realized how many pitfalls there were. Competition, blaming, efforts to negotiate, a reluctant “other spouse,” and even flirtation hindered progress or undermined progress entirely. He asked his psychologist friends about how to juggle all of that, and they all said the same thing: that it’s not possible, just do your best. Paul, however, wanted concrete results, progress toward happiness, and restoring love. He thought about the big picture with troubled marriages and realized that working with only one, even if the other was obstinate and unwilling, worked wonderfully. The adage, “It takes two to tango,” misleads us.  One, going solo is absolutely the way to save a marriage. Now, almost 25 years later, our solo courses have proven to be incredibly effective. Sometimes, the other partner sees so much improvement that they ask (never push your spouse) what happened and want to get their course, which is sold as an add-on at a generous discount. But that is rare and irrelevant to marriage healing. Your spouse may not get his or her course, and it has never made a difference in the outcome, but it does matter if one is pushed. That is a bad thing.

That is the right thing to do, of course, to keep your marriage intact for your kids, but Paul knows that you are not supposed to endure your marriage; you are supposed to gain the true benefits, which are happiness, love, and harmony. If you are going to take the course because of your kids, that’s fine, but you will get so much more than that. Never give up on the expectations you held so dearly. They are still achievable.

True love, which you know you felt when you started toward marriage, cannot be extinguished. The embers are still there, though barely glowing, and it is understandable. But the truth is that the love you experienced at the wedding is still there and will burst into flames of love with the right guidance. This we know from experience, not theory.

Sex has to be among the most misunderstood things in our society, that’s a fact. Even the expression “making love” is all about sex, not about cultivating and experiencing love. In Western psych parlance, love is an abstract thought, and souls are considered imaginative. But Paul is spiritual. He knows that love is what we, as souls, are. We are given this amazing gift of marriage so we can experience unconditional love, and we have reduced it down to orgasms and fetishes. You will learn how to experience love, and then you will learn how to use sex as a bridge between your souls. How much sex is up to the couple, but it is definitely part of most marriages. What’s important is that you use sex and not the other way around.

Yes, we do, but not often. Marriage is a spiritual path and requires inner work; that’s just the reality. Some women, usually men, don’t want to do inner work; they just want to “know what to do.” It does not work that way. If you want to drive a car, you must learn how to do it according to the rules of the road. You can’t just hop in the driver’s seat and take off. If someone expects immediate results in their marriage, they are not going to succeed. But that is rare. Most people experience the benefits of Paul’s techniques and see how they will work.

The principles are universal truths that are the basis of all religions and all morality. Paul has had many discussions with pastors, priests, imams, and rabbis. All agree that our teachings align almost perfectly with what they teach.

The course takes about 12 weeks and is broken into modules that contain multiple video classes. They are released about every two weeks. The beginning is very important because it is where you learn some techniques that will calm you down and prepare you for the future, so you will need to spend an hour plus per session. Then, you should jump in as often as you can for as long as you can, often repeating classes. Some people stabilize and then put the course aside. They then have to start again.

We have not had success with men whose wives have left the home unless it’s for a pre-determined cooling-off period. Nor when a wife has cheated on her husband.

Most men don’t understand their wives or why there is so much trouble, and that is not the man’s fault. Most women don’t understand women, either. The course has two significant parts: one is educational, and that is always eye-opening. But the other is deeper. It is about recognizing oneself more clearly and simultaneously learning how to open one’s heart, which is not the same as opening up emotionally. The educational part will help reduce tensions fairly quickly, but most men fall back into their bad habits of anger and expectations almost as quickly if they do not take the introspective part seriously. In a nutshell, you will “get it” quickly because Paul is so logical, but your transformation is what will make your marriage great.