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Saving Marriages since 2001
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How a Divorce Professional turned into a Trusted Marriage Saver
Paul Friedman was a reputable and successful divorce mediator in San Diego. Then, in 2001, one of his couple clients asked him to save their marriage instead of ending it. It had already been declared “over” by a highly respected marriage counselor. Paul said “Yes, let’s do it. Marriage counselors are good people, but they rarely save marriages. As a divorce mediator, Paul knew that using Western psychology to help a marriage is like trying to eat soup with a fork. Their training, methods, and tools, regardless of their degree or title, don’t address core marriage problems, which in simplest terms, stem from a near-universal misunderstanding of basic marriage principles. They mean well, but marital ignorance is why marriage unhappiness is the norm. Mental or psychological issues are not the cause of marriage difficulties and subsequent failures. Without a road map, marriage is quite difficult. We would not try mountain climbing without training, but that’s how we begin our marriages. Character imperfections and poor judgment, which often lead to severe problems like infidelity, are not what break up marriages. The reason for marriage unhappiness, suffering, and failure is that most people learn about marriage only from watching sitcoms and movies, which are high on romance but low on realistic day-to-day married life reality. However, even if erroneous marital education was not the universal culprit, individual or couple’s marriage counseling is less than helpful when a marriage is in trouble because it is too much talk and not enough healing. Many good people and you probably know some, are realizing (the hard way) that traditional marriage counseling causes more harm than good. Conventional marriage counselors are simply not taught how to teach individuals or couples how to save their marriage and then achieve marital happiness.
They do not know that healing the connection of love is essential to marriage. Going over problems just causes more problems. Paul realized that one must learn to get past blaming and fault-finding, and he developed special techniques for this. As tempting as it is to blame your husband or wife for making you angry or tell them they need to change, only makes things worse. Confrontation, listing grievances, or “talking it through” always adds more problems. At TMF, under Paul’s guidance, we recognize marital suffering only as symptoms and, more critically, as a call to action.
We stop your slide toward divorce. Then, we use principles-based methods to rebuild your marriage into your most treasured possession.
Everyone Succeeds Using Our System –
Here is why
God gave marriage to us. He wants us to experience His Love and joy, not go through a living hell as happens when we don’t understand marriage. We have the gift of marriage to learn important lessons about ourselves, our spouses, and marriage, and when we get it, the rewards are extraordinary. But when we don’t, marriage is like taking your Porche off-road. Paul says the purpose of marriage is to learn to love unconditionally. But none of us ever heard that fantastic idea, so almost everyone approached their marriage like a ride at a theme park, not realizing they had to feed and nurture it. Nor were we taught how to cultivate love and marriage. So, although we found our Rolls Royce when we found our soulmate, we never changed the oil or even washed the windshield. That’s why we don’t know that happiness, love, and harmony are the right expectations from marriage. But these precious gifts are not automatically achieved. But don’t worry, IT IS NOT TOO LATE. Our system is based on love for you, your spouse, and your family. There is simply no need to figure out who did what. We don’t need any therapeutic “unraveling.” Therapy never works, anyway. Paul created elegant processes that are sure and true.
Genuine marriage help isn’t mysterious. Marriage is governed by universal laws. Marriage success isn't based on hidden secrets handed down by some relative or an ancient Egyptian priest.
They get you out of the bottomless pits of misery you are now choking in. Our techniques and methods always bring personal telling results very quickly, often in days or a week, and then your marriage starts to turn around. Everything is based upon the positive principle of achieving actual goals, not just clinging to fanciful hope or false promises, as is the rule when you are in marriage counseling, is so discouraging, and Paul knew that. Rather than endure endless sessions with no progress, as most people experience with traditional marriage counseling, Paul’s process creates tangible results. Additionally, as part of the course, TMF expert marriage counselors support our clients with these teachings. Paul does not tolerate therapists who want to drag out their clients’ sessions or pander to their own ideas, which wastes time. He fired marriage counselors who tried to turn their clients into their cash flow. Marriage help must be approached practically, with empirical knowledge and applicable tools, and proceed quickly (to avoid discouragement), yet progressively. It is given with respect, love, and consideration.
Marriages are practical and spiritual because love is spiritual.
You don’t need to be religious to have a great marriage (Paul loves God but doesn’t speak religion). One must only have the proper perspective, understanding, and appropriate tools to re-establish and grow one’s marriage. Our courses, one for men and one for women include all the necessary online classes you need; they are 100% complete. Paul saved his first client’s family with a simple and practical approach. But we don’t believe in settling for just “saved.” Your marriage must also be rejuvenated. When you follow the path of the course, you will re-experience the joys of marriage, happiness, love, and harmony. Some people take the course even though their spouse may already be with someone else; we never discourage anyone from trying, so although everyone succeeds using our system (which comes with a 30-day guarantee), it is never a waste of effort. When you take the course, you WILL succeed.
Our System is
Unreservedly Guaranteed
When Paul was confident that he had found the keys to success, he explained his discoveries to his “unsought” clients, who were understandably thrilled to try, especially when he told them instead of going over problems, they would concentrate entirely on positively rebuilding their marriage. “Let’s work on the future. All will improve when we improve ourselves and follow the marital rules of the road.” Let’s set aside and then forget the manifestations of “marital ignorance and compounded mistakes.” Let’s focus on filling your marriage with love and happiness.
Then, the perceived problems will heal. Taking care of each other was your intent. Let’s go back to that. He gave them a simple exercise in their first session that they could individually practice. That, alone, changed everything. Every action begins with a thought. He told them to stop any thought that might add drama or negativity to their marriage.
Simple, but oh so difficult! Paul prayed, asking for more context (God knows best), and was ‘given’ the basics of what became one of the cornerstones of our teachings, the SEWTM technique. The SEW is simple: using the law of cause and effect to our advantage, it is an incredible tool for self-growth. The SEW is used for eliminating anger, sadness, jealousy, nervousness, and all other “dis”-ease thoughts and feelings. His discoveries were incredible, and he began working with individuals, not couples (couples counseling is incredibly problematic, and we discourage its use), referred from divorce support groups like 2nd Saturday. He honed and fashioned his ideas for eight more years, expanding and refining the systems into what we now safely guarantee.
He honed and fashioned his ideas for eight more years, expanding and refining the systems into what we now safely guarantee.
Our first online iteration, in the beginning, had a success rate above 90%, which was good. But it’s not good enough. Paul remade the courses, making them more understandable, and our success rate went to 95%, but it was still not good enough. Then, the counselors, who support all who take the course, put their heads together with real-life feedback. They created a supplemental email, sometimes modified according to what is on the intake form.
The “This will help you” email goes to every new client. Now, our success rate hovers around 98%. We wish we could get to 100%, but we know that isn’t possible. We know our success rate is accurate because if the course was unsatisfactory, for any reason, within 30 days, one may cancel and, if they wish, ask for a refund. Our success rate is so unusually high because, among other things, Paul segregated and analyzed marriage into its essential “parts,” all of which need attention.
The 3 main “parts of your marriage are
1) You, a soul
you don’t “have a soul.” You are a soul.
2) Your mind,
You will learn to be in charge of your mind to control emotions and eliminate anger
3) Your partner,
who is your soulmate. Isn’t not just a romantic identification
The binding agents of marriage are love and joy, your true marriage connection. With the above understanding, one starts to experience oneself as a loving soul who is typically (and sadly) blocked by the mind’s habits, anger, and emotions. That’s why we get caught in endless dramas. Reidentifying yourself as a soulmate and your partner as your beloved soulmate changes everything. This may seem complicated at first, but as you progress with the course, using the SEW, you start to feel your inner joy percolate, and so does your spouse. Then the magic begins and keeps getting better and better. This awareness of ourselves, our soulmate, and our marriage makes clear our right to demand happiness…which we re-discover. The SEW technique is one of the cornerstones of our courses, but there are many pillars that make the courses as effective as they are. We left no stone unturned to speed up your recovery. We include access to our trained and certified TMF marriage counselors whose help comes with the course, so you will never be stuck.
Our mission isn’t to “treat or heal” you. Our mission is to get you educated and properly self-directed, which will get your marriage working as it should.
You’ll never have to stress about having made the right choice. Both men and women begin their individual courses with a 3-day trial before payment is due. So, if you would like to start right now, it is easy. Very few quit during the trial period, about 2% decide the course is not for them during the 30-day guarantee period, and about 1% request a refund, which we process nearly immediately. You get immediate access to your online course, then your card will be billed three days later. You have 24/7 online access to the classes and can rewatch them whenever you wish; they will be yours for a lifetime. You will be supported by our special TMF marriage counselors, whom you can write to whenever you want to, and usually get a response in less than 24 hours. Within days, you will likely see exactly why it works and feel confident that your marriage will be better than ever. That’s because you will learn so many truths that you had no idea existed. This course has all and everything you will ever need. There
are no better packages
Click your own gender and scroll down to start your free trial
Course for women
Course for men
Course for women
Payment Plans
Try it free for 3 days—your selected payment plan will kick in afterward!
19 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$39.95 per month for 19 months
(Less than $10 a week)6 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$119.95 per month for 6 months
(Less than $4 a day)
Payment in full (Free 3-day trial)$599.95 one time
(Less than $10 a week)6 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$119.95 per month for 6 months
(Less than $4 a day)
Payment in full (Free 3-day trial)$599.95 one timeYou may add your spouse for a one-time payment of $249.95. We emphasize that the decision to be added should be theirs alone. Therefore the add-on is not covered by a guarantee.
Course for men
Payment Plans
Try it free for 3 days—your selected payment plan will kick in afterward!
19 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$39.95 per month for 19 months
(Less than $10 a week)6 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$119.95 per month for 6 months
(Less than $4 a day)Payment in full (Free 3-day trial)$599.95 one time
(Less than $10 a week)6 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$119.95 per month for 6 months
(Less than $4 a day)
Payment in full (Free 3-day trial)$599.95 one timeYou may add your spouse for a one-time payment of $249.95. We emphasize that the decision to be added should be theirs alone. Therefore the add-on is not covered by a guarantee.
ALL OF OUR PLANS BEGIN WITH A
3-DAY FREE TRIAL
Our Marriage Courses are for individuals, you may add your spouse later, at a discount.
LESS THAN
$10 a WEEK
✅ Men’s & Women’s Online Course
✅ Unlimited Email Counseling
✅ 30-Day Guarantee
✅ 3-Day Free Trial
✅ Unlimited Email Counseling
✅ 30-Day Guarantee
✅ 3-Day Free Trial
MEN
$39.95 / month
Less than $10 a week
WOMEN
$39.95 / month
Less than $10 a week
WOMEN
✅ Women’s Online Course
✅ Unlimited Email Counseling
✅ 30-Day Guarantee
✅ 3-Day Free Trial
✅ Unlimited Email Counseling
✅ 30-Day Guarantee
✅ 3-Day Free Trial
$479.95
$97.95 / month
$39.95 / month
MEN
✅ Men’s Online Course
✅ Unlimited Email Counseling
✅ 30-Day Guarantee
✅ 3-Day Free Trial
✅ Unlimited Email Counseling
✅ 30-Day Guarantee
✅ 3-Day Free Trial
$479.95
$97.95 / month
$39.95 / month
The Science of Marriage
Paul discovered a definable science to marriage. Exact laws govern its structure. Think of a plant. Even though what is happening inside of a plant is “mysterious,” when you know how to care for it, your plant grows and produces abundant fruits and flowers. But if you use the wrong fertilizer or break other “laws” that govern its life and existence, you won’t get flowers and fruits. You might kill it.
We are taught more about plants than marriage. Unless you count sitcoms and movies as marriage educators what we learned about marriage is useless and dangerous. We studied some biology in middle school, but we were never taught marriage science, now we all can see how that is turning out; you are not the only one who is suffering in their marriage. But it isn’t too late for you. You still can save your marriage. It is only necessary to learn and then apply.
Another good analogy for marriage is an airplane. When we see an airplane for the first time, there is no way to imagine it flying smoothly through the sky. But when you learn and understand the laws of aerodynamics that assure safe flights, the mystery is over. Then you will enjoy flying high. The difference is that trained pilots understand weather, flying, and other related disciplines. They love flying. You will love being married, too. Learning the governing laws for marriage changes everything.
Marriages don’t fail because of “his fault” or “her mental whatever.” Those are the excuses “experts” use because they don’t understand marriage.
Current training for marriage counselors is all wrong or after over a hundred years of their “help” we would never have divorce. Paul has been training marriage counselors since 2009, and they now never use Western psychology for marriages. Your marriage will be saved and headed toward happiness, love, and harmony when you learn, know, and apply the science of marriage (which includes the science of ourselves). Your marriage will never be a struggle ever again. It will flourish.
This simple discovery that marriage is an exact science was and remains the basis of our effective courses that save marriages every time. The science Paul teaches is the application of God’s, and natural laws, practical understanding, and common sense. This is all we need to safely guide individuals out of the dramas and dilemmas of horrible marriages. Paul worked with living and suffering individuals for 8 years and spoke at public events and divorce support groups, like 2nd Saturday. He also wrote a couple of great marriage-help books. Then, a fellow mediator and Paul began TMF as a nonprofit to offer online marriage-help courses that individuals can take to save their marriage.
The Marriage Foundation is a California (501c3) meant to spread the word.
The goal and the results are the same: nothing less than complete marriage rejuvenation
When one’s marriage is in trouble, it feels like one is drowning in pain, fear, and uncertainty. These are addressed and overcome with techniques for calming, improving marital communication, overcoming anger, and more, using Paul’s original and some borrowed techniques.
Our processes are simple
First, we stop adding to the problems by teaching you the basic knowledge that none of us grew up with: the “aerodynamic’ laws of marriage.
There is no shame in this, and you will be amazed at the number of “duh” moments you have, one after another. You will also be amazed by how many destructive things you learned elsewhere. Just removing those wrong behaviors will bring incredible relief. Simultaneously, you learn our unique techniques, all pioneered by Paul. Combined with deep and caring support from our specially trained TMF marriage counselors, they lift you out of the swamp of anger, frustration, confusion, and emotions. It’s a bulletproof process that works.
They lift you out of the swamp of anger, frustration, confusion, and emotions. It’s a bulletproof process that works.
Paul’s expertise as a divorce mediator and then a full-time marriage healer exposed him to every conceivable problem and issue. He identified the common denominators always present in healthy marriages and the marriage killers that plague failing marriages. He created universal solutions that help every marriage. Our courses are a sure path to marital resurrection. See our testimonials.
Unlike traditional marriage counseling, you don’t have to reveal your secrets, blame, label, or bring up anyone’s flaws to save your marriage. Everything you learn will be commonsensical, practical, and usable. Our process is one of positivity, teaching you how to change the very dynamics of your marriage with practical cause-and-effect steps. They work like mathematics. A pilot who pushes down or pulls back the wheel in an airplane knows what to expect. Knowing what we say or do in marriage is also predictable. So regardless of what happened or is happening, your future, which is our focus, can improve dramatically. It will improve as you make the right effort now. Paul emphasizes that the past cannot be fixed, but it doesn’t matter. From the beginning of the course, you and your marriage will start to heal.
What you do from now forward will decide your success, not what brought you to this point.
You will move toward happiness and renewed love.
The reason for taking the
course alone
Paul’s system, developed during those first eight years, worked miraculously. It works the same now, and it will work for you, too. We have thousands of testimonials. You don’t have to try to fix this or that, blame, take sides, point out flaws, label, or call each other narcissists, or whatever you heard somewhere else… Your childhood doesn’t decide your marriage. You are with your soulmate, and the connection will heal and grow. We show you the path to success one step at a time.
The efforts you are taught are effective and simple. Even the most difficult problems (regardless of legal marital status) are transformed. Our success rates are over 98%. Our ideas and techniques, like the SEW technique, are copied by others but our breadth of experience for almost 25 years sets us apart.
These are the measures of success, simple and universal, that you should expect
Love
Love is not gone, only
buried under errors that grew and compounded.
Happiness
Eliminating fear and frustration reveals the happiness within.Harmony
Marital harmony will become reliable and safe.We have a long track record and great
reputation
I wanted to say thank you so very much for all of your help and support. I’ve been SEWing and its so good. I see a difference in myself, my marriage, and my relationships with my family, friends and colleagues. …My husband said you’re changing, sweetheart! I’m really grateful. …Well, I thought I should share.
Dear Paul and the TMF Team, I have already begun your course for Marriage… I am taking this opportunity to reach out to say Thank you for your incredible work and mission which…I am in week three and am experiencing a nearly seamless state of reconnecting with my husband ,,,we feel a renewed sense of joy, enthusiasm and gratitude for this gift…Thank you so much!
Thoroughly appreciating Paul’s words of wisdom. I’m on week 5 and my partner/wife has subscribed to her course and I think it is having a similar impact. We are both in our 60s with grown kids and we need each other now more than ever. All the crap that we’ve accumulated over the years can fall away with Paul’s approach. I think it is making a difference and look forward to experiencing the rest of his program and the benefits that come with it.
You, only you, working on your marriage alone is the best and proper way; it is our way
All of Paul’s mediation clients arrived “together” to get a divorce. So, initially, Paul did what his couple’s counselor friends did for their clients; he met with both. Ironically, he found that the couples were even more hostile toward each other than the couples he met with to negotiate a divorce settlement!
The problems with couple’s counseling were clear
01
The couple blamed each other or themself.
02
The couple looked for problems to “solve.”
03
The couple competed for Paul’s attention, even flirting.
04
The couple hid their true feelings for fear of humiliation.
05
The couple almost always consisted of the one who wanted help and the other was dragged in.
When Paul mentioned these observations to his marriage counselor friends, the best in San Diego, they all confirmed them. But they didn’t know what to do about it, either. Later, they began sending their tough cases to Paul.
With passionate determination, Paul constructed processes that worked by working with only one. After nearly 25 years, the courses we now have, one for women and another for men, are incredibly efficient and effective.
Speed of recovery is important
Another universal truism Paul discovered was that when individuals are not progressing, they get bored and/or discouraged. We found over time that there is a balance between overwhelming a person and slowing down their progress. Our courses are released in sections. It took a long time to find the right balance. Occasionally, someone requests that we open the course. We only comply when the course is paid for in full, but reluctantly. There is a layering of information and adopting the techniques that are critical for success
The course for both men and women begins with a 3-day trial before a payment is due. So, it is easy to start right now if you would like to.
Marriage is a union between two souls, hence the term “soulmates.”
Our teachings embody the practical and spiritual understanding of marriage, which is necessary to make any progress when you need marriage help. Paul saw that the way to heal a marriage you should focus on building connections and cultivating love and happiness rather than listing problems and chipping away at them. The usual prescriptions for unhappy marriages are based on Western psych models, which never heal marriages. In comparison, Paul’s first couple, as well as the thousands who followed, went from nearly being divorced to a great marriage. Paul, along with both his therapist and mediator friends, saw the “miracles” of his discoveries. For eight years, he worked with “worst cases,” including wealthy, poor, famous, and everyday people who all shared the same problem that their marriages were failing. They were almost over or very close to divorce. Over the decades since then, we have saved thousands of marriages by guiding either the wife or the husband (couples counseling doesn’t work, so even when both want to work on their marriage, they take individual courses). Not everyone who comes to us is at the same stage of need but all have the same desire for happiness, love, and harmony.
For Women
Most of our women students discovered or suspected infidelity. The most extreme cases are when a husband moves in with a home-wrecker girlfriend. Those are sometimes recoverable, though not often. For everything less traumatic than that, our infidelity cases are saved, and over time, the marriages are completely turned around. These marriages include affairs, discovered or assumed, porn use, emotional affairs, and, or.
Other situations that define your marriage as way off track and often heading to separation and divorce, are very savable by our course for women. We know that nothing less will work.
Other situations that define your marriage as way off track and often heading to separation and divorce, are very savable by our course for women. We know that nothing less will work.
If you want to check with our counselors write to counselors@themarriagefoundation.org
Nothing works faster or better.
As stressed as you are, we know what is real and what makes things worse. Paul’s guidance starts you off quickly and proves its worthiness within days.
Thank you for the encouragement, I appreciate your help…This course is way more than I expected. It really hits home with me, I can see all things that I have been doing wrong and it is helping me to change and look at things so differently. Even though I get lost sometimes, your words of wisdom get me back on track. Thank you”
The course for both men and women begins with a 3-day trial before a payment is due. So, if you would like to start right now it is easy.
Women's Sample Class
Men's Sample Class
Women's Sample Class
Men's Sample Class
Course for women
Course for men
Course for women
Payment Plans
Try it free for 3 days—your selected payment plan will kick in afterward!
19 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$39.95 per month for 19 months (Less than $10 a week)6 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$119.95 per month for 6 months (Less than $4 a day)Payment in full (Free 3-day trial)$599.95 one time
Payment in full (Free 3-day trial)$599.95 one timeYou may add your spouse for a one-time payment of $249.95. We emphasize that the decision to be added should be theirs alone. Therefore the add-on is not covered by a guarantee.
Course for men
Payment Plans
Try it free for 3 days—your selected payment plan will kick in afterward!
19 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$39.95 per month for 19 months (Less than $10 a week)6 month plan (Free 3-day trial)$119.95 per month for 6 months (Less than $4 a day)Payment in full (Free 3-day trial)$599.95 one time
Payment in full (Free 3-day trial)$599.95 one timeYou may add your spouse for a one-time payment of $249.95. We emphasize that the decision to be added should be theirs alone. Therefore the add-on is not covered by a guarantee.
We specialize only in marriage help. God intended marriage to provide ever-increasing happiness, ever-expanding love, and harmony.
In all the courses, Paul teaches how to smoothly “fly” your marriage. You and your marriage move toward a reboot, a rebirth. With what we teach, you won’t backslide. It just keeps getting better. Success is the only reasonable outcome when you follow our guidance strictly tailored for marriage.
YouTube videos
Paul’s YouTube videos are wonderful introductions to the marriage help science he discovered in 2001. Discussing hundreds of topics, based on gender, or in general these are great for aiming you in the right direction with great marriage tips and often with deep and usable explanations, helping you have a better marriage.
Articles
On topic discussions that go beyond the subject, offering comprehensive understandings that will get you thinking and doing.
Newsletters
We think of you as part of our TMF family and friends. We send out occasional newsletters just as reminders for you to remember why you got married, for happiness, love and harmony.
Ask a TMF marriage counselor
This free service is best used to help with a quick question or for help deciding which product would be best for you. Our counselors are here for only one purpose, to help you get effective help as economically as possible.
Frequently
Asked Questions
What if my husband is in an active affair?
Most of our clients are women whose husbands are in an emotional, active, or sexual affair, multiple affairs, repeat, or worse….. Because we never learned about ourselves or marriage, the most significant percentage of people who are married suffer. So, and this is what works, we ask you to consider what happened to you to be a call to action, a shout from the cosmos, to now heal your marriage. We know that what is common is to leave him or suck it up and continue, but honestly, the best option is to heal your marriage so the conditions that allowed for his betrayal are not there anymore. Here is what one (there are hundreds) woman reported back to us.
“…You’ve effectively taught me how to turn it around and my husband is back and in love with me again. Even better, I know how that happened and how to make it continue. Thank you for giving me my life back.”
– Tara
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
Is three days enough time to know if the course is working?
When someone uses traditional marriage counseling or other courses, they faithfully hope, “This will work; I just have to give it time.” Because marriage counseling isn’t direct or to the point of gaining specific results, one can only hope. Our courses, on the other hand, begin with knowledge and techniques, or you can call them tools, that prove themselves as you use them. Also, the way to success is outlined so you can see how you will progress and the milestones you will hit. There isn’t anything mysterious. You will know right away. Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
“Hello, I wanted to thank you again for your program. It has really helped me. I am making progress using the SEW technique and focusing on love. My husband is no longer sleeping in the guest room. He came back to our bed 4 nights ago.”
Can this work if my spouse doesn’t get their course, too? Is couples counseling a better option?
Although couples counseling is widely accepted, it doesn’t mean it works. When Paul started saving marriages in 2001, he began with a couple (who came to him for divorce mediation because that was his profession). That couple succeeded, so naturally, he then worked with couples. But he quickly realized how many pitfalls there were. Competition, blaming, efforts to negotiate, a reluctant “other spouse,” and even flirtation hindered progress or undermined progress entirely. He asked his psychologist friends about how to juggle all of that, and they all said the same thing: that it’s not possible, just do your best. Paul, however, wanted concrete results, progress toward happiness, and restoring love. He thought about the big picture with troubled marriages and realized that working with only one, even if the other was obstinate and unwilling, worked wonderfully. The adage, “It takes two to tango,” misleads us. One, going solo is absolutely the way to save a marriage. Now, almost 25 years later, our solo courses have proven to be incredibly effective. Sometimes, the other partner sees so much improvement that they ask (never push your spouse) what happened and want to get their course, which is sold as an add-on at a generous discount. But that is rare and irrelevant to marriage healing. Your spouse may not get his or her course, and it has never made a difference in the outcome, but it does matter if one is pushed. That is a bad thing.
“Even Paul has said everyone has their breaking point and this week was mine. I was almost catatonic at one point, so all things considered the SEW this week has been a life saver. We stopped marriage counseling as suggested – thank you for that! Now I have stopped taking the anxiety medication and am practicing reading listening to SEW all day long for the past week.”
Should I take the course only for the sake of our children?
That is the right thing to do, of course, to keep your marriage intact for your kids, but Paul knows that you are not supposed to endure your marriage; you are supposed to gain the true benefits, which are happiness, love, and harmony. If you are going to take the course because of your kids, that’s fine, but you will get so much more than that. Never give up on the expectations you held so dearly. They are still achievable.
“This is just placeholder text. Don’t be alarmed, this is just here to fill up space since your finalized copy isn’t ready yet. Once we have your content finalized, we’ll replace this placeholder text with your real content. Sometimes it’s nice to put in text just to get an idea of how text will fill in a space on your website.”
– John
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
What if I don’t love him anymore?
True love, which you know you felt when you started toward marriage, cannot be extinguished. The embers are still there, though barely glowing, and it is understandable. But the truth is that the love you experienced at the wedding is still there and will burst into flames of love with the right guidance. This we know from experience, not theory.
“This is just placeholder text. Don’t be alarmed, this is just here to fill up space since your finalized copy isn’t ready yet. Once we have your content finalized, we’ll replace this placeholder text with your real content. Sometimes it’s nice to put in text just to get an idea of how text will fill in a space on your website.”
– John
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
What about sex?
Sex has to be among the most misunderstood things in our society, that’s a fact. Even the expression “making love” is all about sex, not about cultivating and experiencing love. In Western psych parlance, love is an abstract thought, and souls are considered imaginative. But Paul is spiritual. He knows that love is what we, as souls, are. We are given this amazing gift of marriage so we can experience unconditional love, and we have reduced it down to orgasms and fetishes. You will learn how to experience love, and then you will learn how to use sex as a bridge between your souls. How much sex is up to the couple, but it is definitely part of most marriages. What’s important is that you use sex and not the other way around.
“This is just placeholder text. Don’t be alarmed, this is just here to fill up space since your finalized copy isn’t ready yet. Once we have your content finalized, we’ll replace this placeholder text with your real content. Sometimes it’s nice to put in text just to get an idea of how text will fill in a space on your website.”
– John
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
Do you ever have failures? Why?
Yes, we do, but not often. Marriage is a spiritual path and requires inner work; that’s just the reality. Some women, usually men, don’t want to do inner work; they just want to “know what to do.” It does not work that way. If you want to drive a car, you must learn how to do it according to the rules of the road. You can’t just hop in the driver’s seat and take off. If someone expects immediate results in their marriage, they are not going to succeed. But that is rare. Most people experience the benefits of Paul’s techniques and see how they will work.
“I’m starting to understand that I cannot control anything about my husband the way he thinks what he does. And using the soul (sic) method has helped me a lot. Today I put myself in time out in the closet because my toddler mind wanted to say a bunch of things that was not true. And when I was able to convince myself of the truth and not go by my emotions, everything was fine. I even used the SEW method in traffic the other day at work and while talking to someone on the phone who was really aggressive and rude. I have not arrived, but the past 34 days have been pretty good because of the SEW method; listening to the videos consistently, and 3 to 4 times today. I can honestly say I am grateful. My husband bought me a new car yesterday and it was a shock to me because we did not discuss it prior. He hugged me out of nowhere and I was shocked because I really thought he didn’t like me anymore and he told me he loves me and he asked me. Do you know that I love you I want you to know that I love you and I was just in shock I love him and I responded, but I was in shock because he had been so distant lately. I am going to continue being kind and loving and sweet and smiling and positive and not complaining criticizing condemning or acting with over familiarity. Thank you so much again still working in progress but grateful for each day.”
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
Are your teachings based on biblical or other spiritual principles?
The principles are universal truths that are the basis of all religions and all morality. Paul has had many discussions with pastors, priests, imams, and rabbis. All agree that our teachings align almost perfectly with what they teach.
“Hi there, I would like to thank you for your help. Incredible course! I didn’t expect anything like it. I enjoyed it from the first lesson to the last. I’m a different person now. Guided by love. This is having an incredible effect on me, my wife and also my son. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
– Greg
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
How long is the course, and how much time should I devote to it?
The course takes about 12 weeks and is broken into modules that contain multiple video classes. They are released about every two weeks. The beginning is very important because it is where you learn some techniques that will calm you down and prepare you for the future, so you will need to spend an hour plus per session. Then, you should jump in as often as you can for as long as you can, often repeating classes. Some people stabilize and then put the course aside. They then have to start again.
“Have covered the fist two chapters and eagerly awaiting for the next part as I need to desperately improve as quickly as possible. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed and can see a lot of the issues / mistakes from my side of things; wish I’d know about this course before I got married which would have been coming up to 30 years. Going to re-evaluate the SEW methods so I can get it drilled into me.”
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
What if my wife left and had a restraining order against me? Are there situations your course can’t help?
We have not had success with men whose wives have left the home unless it’s for a pre-determined cooling-off period. Nor when a wife has cheated on her husband.
“The video lesson was very well done! Despite having viewed every book and course you offer, I still had some aha moments where everything gelled. Nicely done! Thank you!”
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.
How long is the course, and when will I have definite results
Most men don’t understand their wives or why there is so much trouble, and that is not the man’s fault. Most women don’t understand women, either. The course has two significant parts: one is educational, and that is always eye-opening. But the other is deeper. It is about recognizing oneself more clearly and simultaneously learning how to open one’s heart, which is not the same as opening up emotionally. The educational part will help reduce tensions fairly quickly, but most men fall back into their bad habits of anger and expectations almost as quickly if they do not take the introspective part seriously. In a nutshell, you will “get it” quickly because Paul is so logical, but your transformation is what will make your marriage great.
“Paul, beautiful video , I now understand living on this “higher plane” of soul mate love, 100%”
Our successes are predictable and assured. There are clearly delineated milestones.