A healthy marriage isn’t a stroke of luck—it’s a sacred commitment, a gift from God that flourishes when you nurture it with intentional love and divine wisdom. I’m Paul Friedman, founder of The Marriage Foundation, where I’ve guided thousands of couples to this truth, first in sessions before founding TMF, and now through our specially trained TMF marriage counselors, who respond to all inquiries from course users and even quick questions (Ask a Counselor). Once a divorce mediator, I dissolved marriages over issues I now see as preventable—challenges that never need to end what God intends as a lifetime of happy marriage. You just need to know how. In 2001, a couple’s plea to save their union unveiled a revelation: marriage isn’t meant to wither—it’s built to thrive. Here are five signs of a healthy marriage, refined over 25 years at The Marriage Foundation, to help you cultivate a bond that reflects God’s glory. These aren’t worldly fixes—they’re a God-aligned path to joy, yours to create today.
1. Consideration: Putting Your Spouse First
A healthy marriage begins with consideration—making it a rule of life to prioritize your spouse’s needs, drowning out negative tendencies with positive effort. This isn’t about expecting their consideration—that shifts focus to yourself, a trap for fools who say, “I deserve better,” without asking, “Do I treat my spouse as they deserve?” At The Marriage Foundation, we teach that self-centeredness kills happiness; consideration builds a lifetime marriage.
Take Anna, who once snapped at her husband’s quirks. In my office—once a place of endings, now a cradle of renewal—she learned SEW: Stop, Evaluate, and act with Wisdom, a gift from the Father during meditation (I lack the wit to devise it). She stopped her irritation, evaluated his needs, and acted with care—cooking his favorite meal without a word. Weeks later, their home hummed with warmth. Consideration isn’t mutual by demand—it’s your gift, a sign of a healthy marriage rooted in God’s love.
2. Mutual Adoration: Choosing to Cherish Each Other
Mutual adoration marks a healthy marriage—not a fleeting feeling, but a choice to cherish your spouse, directing your heart toward love. Some think adoration is automatic, driven by subconscious habits, but at The Marriage Foundation, we know you can take the reins. God gave us free will to sweeten our marriages with adoration, not hate.
Consider Mark and Jane, whose spark had faded. In my office, I guided Jane with SEW—stopping her indifference, evaluating his worth, and acting with wisdom through daily praise. “I adore your strength,” she’d say, meaning it. Mark soon echoed her, their adoration mutual—not forced, but chosen. Adoration isn’t luck; it’s a sign your marriage reflects God’s joy, cultivated intentionally.
3. Mutual Appreciation: Seeing the Best in Each Other
Mutual appreciation is a broad, beautiful sign of a healthy marriage—a lens of gratitude that starts with recognizing your spouse’s choice to marry someone as wonderful as you. At The Marriage Foundation, we see appreciation as a foundation—why not marvel at their great judgment, if nothing else?
Tom once overlooked his wife’s efforts, grumbling instead. Using SEW, he stopped his complaints, evaluated her gifts—her patience, her smile—and acted with wisdom, thanking her daily. “I appreciate how you light up our home,” he said. She mirrored him, their appreciation mutual—a cycle of grace. This isn’t flattery; it’s a sign your marriage honors God’s blessings, growing stronger with every “thank you.” Try it with our 3-day free trial.
4. Loyalty: Unwavering Support in All Things
Loyalty is the bedrock of a healthy marriage—more vital than any quality. It’s not just avoiding betrayal (a low bar); it’s backing your spouse in their growth, never throwing them under the bus. At The Marriage Foundation, we see loyalty as God’s glue, binding you through life’s trials.
Laura’s husband faltered in a new venture; she could’ve criticized. Instead, SEW guided her—stopping doubt, evaluating his effort, and acting with wisdom to cheer him on. “I’m with you,” she said. He thrived, their loyalty unshaken. Loyalty isn’t blind—it’s active support, a sign your marriage mirrors God’s faithfulness. My office once ended dreams; now it fosters this strength.
5. Mutual Graciousness: Treating Each Other Like Royalty
Mutual graciousness crowns a healthy marriage—treating your spouse as an honor, with grace and charm, never yelling or nagging. At The Marriage Foundation, we teach this as encompassing all virtues—royalty in spirit, reflecting God’s elegance.
Mike and Susan once bickered endlessly. In my office, Susan used SEW—stopping her sharp tone, evaluating his worth, and acting with graciousness: “It’s a privilege to be with you.” Mike followed, their home now a palace of kindness—no anger, just grace. Graciousness isn’t weakness; it’s a sign your marriage shines with God’s dignity. Psychology’s 25% success (2014 study) pales—SEW triumphs.
Why These Signs Ensure a Lifetime Marriage
These signs—consideration, mutual adoration, mutual appreciation, loyalty, and mutual graciousness—aren’t ideals; they’re God’s plan, refined over 25 years at The Marriage Foundation. SEW, a divine gift from meditation, empowers you to live them—stopping negativity, evaluating with love, acting with wisdom. Divorce scars kids early and long (research)—why risk it when you can build this sanctuary?
Act Now: Build Your Healthy Marriage
You can cultivate these signs alone—SEW works through your love, as Anna, Jane, and Susan prove. Avoid traps—self-focus breeds misery, psychology fails—God’s path prevails. Start with the 3-day free trial of the Women’s Marriage Course. Search “healthy marriage signs”—we’re your guide.
Join The Marriage Foundation Today
Visit themarriagefoundation.org and enroll in the Women’s Marriage Course—12 weeks to a healthy marriage. With a 3-day free trial, budget plans costing less than $10 a week (billed monthly), and a 30-day guarantee, you’ve nothing to lose. God wants this—step forward now.