Don’t Forget Why You Got Married
Marriage is literally designed to be the happiest part of your life. You got married to be happy!
The day of your wedding was supposed to be a step over a threshold, from single life to a completely new and better kind of life, shared with your best friend…forever!
Nothing short of tremendous happiness is an acceptable goal for your marriage.
Most people in difficulty would settle for less, but you do not have to. Yes, you need to learn how to get out of the hole you dug yourselves into, but that is not as hard as some would have you believe.
Marriage is both Scientific and Spiritual, but NOT psychological
Naturally there are psychological aspects to all we do in life, and why we do them. But the spiritual reason(s) for marriage transcend everything. Achieving the happiness that comes from unconditional love is the soul purpose of marriage.
Our unique approach focuses on reliable scientific methods each one of us can use to be happy.
When lived correctly, marriage is self-righting, no matter what you go through! But you need to learn what not to do, and what to do. Our simple approach begins with where you are today, but with an eye on the goal. Here is how we do it.
- The first step is to stop the sliding and negative cycles. Paul Friedman, our founder, invented the SEW technique in 2003, after he saw his clients struggle with deeply entrenched habits. This marvelous technique is explained in graphic context, so you have the ability to literally see your thoughts before they become words, or actions, that further deteriorate your connection.
- The second step is to learn what kills marriages. The three killers of marriage are explained in great depth, so there is no question about why they kill. Most of society calls out surface things like money, or infidelity, and vague “irreconcilable differences”. But these are all nothing in comparison to the real killers of marriage.
- The third, and final step, is where we really shine. We want you to have nothing less than a glorious marriage, a happy marriage; happier than you ever dreamed. So we teach you about what we call The Sacred Space of Marriage.
Marriage is designed to be happier than any other anything in life. Ingrained in all of our teachings is this most positive, and practical, approach.
There is no need cast blame. No, need to decide who was worse, or why either of you made a mistake, or ten. The only thing you should care about is the future. Going back into your mistakes will not help you not repeat them. But substituting your old bad actions with good new ones will change everything in your future. This is where our approach is so incredible. You don’t waste time. You don’t carry anger or resentment, and you don’t look back. You look forward, to happiness.
Sure there will be slips. And sure, neither of you are perfect. But our approach puts the emphasis on the positive, so you can live for the joy you always desired.
Our approach is positive! With your eye on a goal of your happy marriage you take the simple and progressive steps to get there.
What about the “reasons” why you seek help now?
But our online program is most effective, because it takes you from A to Z, without analyzing what you may already know, or not know.
The very first thing in our online marriage help program is ending the current destructive behaviors. Our unique and powerful SEW technique is taught right away, in the first online videos, so you have the ability to make fast and steady progress; and you will. The SEW technique is amazing. It gives you the ability to see your automatic reactions from an objective place, and control them. By using this technique you put the brakes on the slide. In most cases this creates a fresh start.
When marriages are not in “critical condition” Lessons For A Happy Marriage is sometimes enough; especially for those who have had a mostly good and loving marriage.
Breaking The Cycle is “deeper” and organized as a teaching tool for marriage professionals.
Everything we teach, because we want you to be capable of having a great marriage, is based in scientific principles. We do not give “advice” so much, as we show you the cause and effects of actions. So much is pure common sense! But some of what you learn is less “intuitive”, but is still cause and effect.
The end game is for you to feel comfortable trusting yourself so you can be responsible for your own happiness.
A properly functioning marriage produces happiness beyond any happiness one could achieve from material possessions, or in any other way.
It is important to have a clear pathway to happiness.
Learn how to express yourself better, to communicate you are loving and supportive. Its not all about communication, of course, but that is a big part of making your marriage a life you love to love.
Also learn how trendy ideas are often either useless or destructive. Some current ideas about communication work against the goals of happiness. They were invented by angry people who are still looking for themselves. You don’t need more negativity. You need to go back to what got you married in the first place’ love!
Core Ideas And Ideals Of Marriage Are Beautiful
Learn how to re-establish love as your marital vision, making it your polestar; so all your actions are guided by a singular desire for happiness through unconditional love. All your thoughts and actions should move you towards that goal.
In all ways our approach is positive. You deserve a marriage that is incomparable, where nothing else in your life brings you as much happiness.
Couples counseling is not the right approach
We are respectful of professionals who sincerely try to help couples in difficulties. But more times than not marriage counseling doesn’t work because couples still do not understand the goals.
In 2011 Paul Friedman began teaching licensed marriage counselors who wanted to blend these teachings in with their own efforts.
Our specialists are certified and hired only after they learn the teachings and demonstrate their ability to effectively guide individuals who use our services. We do not believe in the limited psychological approach to marriage. Our coaches adhere to a strict code of conduct.
The bottom line is this
The only acceptable marriage is a happy marriage, which is continuously growing in happiness
Any other result from marriage is due to failure to follow the operating principles that are revealed by these teachings. Nobody should settle for a life of living like cellmates instead of soulmates.