“The best marriage manual is out there” is not a wild claim. A marriage manual should be no different than other technical manuals when it comes to
practical user information. It should be simple, concise, and explicit. But because marriage is so personal, most individuals cannot remain impersonal in creating a manual. When reading a marriage manual, you will mostly see their personal experiences and the author’s personality come through. Too often their ideas and words, along with their own personal anecdotal experiences, detract from science-based information. Usually they are married. So, their deeper experiences have been tested in only one laboratory: their own marriage. Most cases have proven writing a marriage manual without bias is nearly impossible.
A Good Marriage Manual Cannot Come From One Person’s Experience
When an individual says, “I have been a marriage counselor for 30 years,” asserting their experience, it assures us the writer has mastered the art of communicating their ideas. The length of experience does not reveal their level of success though, nor what situations are easier for a couple to rectify, nor which marriage problems prove more difficult to handle.
No matter how satisfied a marriage counselor feels with his or her sessions, and no matter how much clients like their marriage counselor, only the marital success of a couple matters. Sometimes marital success is impossible, with some individual success being all there is, but that is not the purpose of a marriage manual.
A Real Marriage Manual Spells Out What Success “Looks Like”
When you go to the dentist, you are told what is wrong and why the problem exists. If your tooth has decay, the dentist will show you. He will explain how food got trapped, or how the area was prone to decay because of bacterial buildup. A manual for tooth maintenance is usually given in this case in the form of a pamphlet, teaching you to thoroughly and regularly brush, describing the best methods of brushing and how to floss. Success looks like clean, healthy teeth. The skill of your dentist is important, but the principles of dentistry are universally accepted, and all dentists agree on those principles and sets of “best practices.”
A marriage manual, too, has to rely on the simplest, best practices. The problem, until The Marriage Foundation was founded, is no two marriage counselors relied on the same principles or methods. Marriage counselors who do not align with TMF cannot agree on a clearly defined concept of what a successful marriage should look like or even what the purposes of marriage are.
The Marriage Foundation Created The First True Marriage Manual
The Marriage Foundation is not the effort of one individual, but a consortium of professionals with diverse backgrounds. So, checks and balances contribute to making Breaking The Cycle a pure, “technical” marriage manual, basing its premises on:
1) Spiritual principles
2) Biological science
All of our “ideas” are based on spiritual psycho-physiological principles.
Naturally, everything is presented in easy-to-grasp ideas. And for those who are more audibly oriented or visual, TMF presents the manual in the form of affordable online marriage courses.
The Marriage Foundation Is About Science
All of the material produced by TMF is tested in real marriage counseling venues by our trained TMF-certified marriage counselors. Our counselors, together, have compiled what they’ve learned. We don’t go for what “feels” good; we don’t pander to people’s emotions or unrealistic expectations. We know what works, we know why it works, and we share it openly.
The Best Marriage Manual Ever Written Is “Breaking The Cycle”
Breaking The Cycle is a technical marriage manual. It is written in a progressive form, teaching how to first reduce and eliminate tensions. We explain how they got there and the proper “hygiene” to keep them out. We then explain the grand and smaller purposes of marriage and how to achieve them. Those who read Breaking The Cycle soon realize the dream of an exceptional marriage is not a dream at all, but an achievable reality.