Reading Breaking The Cycle one quickly grasps that all be well, that they are receiving much more than just a pep talk or cute set of ideas. It digs into the science, spirituality, and common sense of marriage. You will realize that marriage isn’t a mystery to solve, that it only requires an ‘operating manual’.
Paul originally wrote this to help educate marriage professionals who wanted to incorporate our revolutionary approach to marriage within their practices. We currently have an online marriage counselor training course delivered by our founder, Paul Friedman, but 10 years ago It served as their text book as they met in person.
There are numerous premises upon which this treatise was formulated. Here are a few:
This book sets higher and more realistic expectations for soulmates to live in harmony and happiness in their marriage (we include those who have no formal marriage agreement).
Breaking The Cycle is the beginning of a new age of marital awareness where marriage is recognized as Paul defines it “An individual spiritual path that two soulmates take together”. All other approaches to marriages pale in comparison.
“Never give up. Your marriage is not over. Nor should you believe it is even close, even though it may feel that way with all you have been through, and are still going through. From now on, to the best of your ability, you can live according to positive marital principles.
As your understanding and abilities improve, so will your marriage. All your good intentions, even if your past efforts have not always been the right kind, still count as an investment into your marriage.
With your everyday efforts more in sync with the right kind of thinking, your lives will improve. Do not give up.”
“Marriage is not a set-up for suffering and failure. It is a set-up for fulfillment Yes, your fears are perfectly understandable, and it is not really your fault that you would be uncertain. Everything on the outside of your marriage, from divorce trends to gross misunderstandings of marriage relationships, pushes couples into feelings of discouragement and hopelessness. Couples are surrounded by doom and gloom stories, so they do not realize how simple it is to bring back and actually rejuvenate a troubled marriage. And to make matters worse, people in trouble are mislead into thinking divorce is a “positive” option. If not for the blitz of misinformation, the vast majority of hurting families would never contemplate divorce for a minute, but would put all their attention on solutions, as they should.”
“You will have success by moving in the right direction, with determination Putting an end to all the misbehaviors takes a bit of time, but we don’t want this to take years, or even months. So you need to put in a lot of upfront effort. At the same time you have to get started on getting the joys your marriage has to offer. Your marriage is alive, and it will heal. If you follow our guidance it will heal faster than you can imagine. But there is no getting around the fact you have to deal with the reality of a marriage filled with hurt, anger, frustration and weariness. You can’t just skip the steps you have to take to end the scourge of the killers.”
“You have to control your tongue! You also have to control your mind, too! This is not airy fairy! You have to work at this with all your might! Success without effort does not even work out when you are dreaming.
Remember the eclipse effect? Nothing reduces the good feelings from a compliment as surely as an insult or slight that comes afterward. So keep the little digs out, too. They may seem funny to you, or “innocent”, but your marriage is not a sitcom. Ending all the abuses you currently extend to your spouse, in every overt or subtle way, complaining or criticizing or whatever; will open the doors wide for all kinds of happiness. You have to stop the misbehaviors!”
