Anything and everything you experience, in whatever the venue or circumstance,
including within your marriage, always, always, always happens as a result of what you think, say, or do. Cause and effect in marriage is as real as it is in “real life,” but most married people do not think about it or how to work with it.
Everything that happens, without exception, is a reaction of some earlier thought, word, or action (for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction). Simply put, nobody can defy physics. The law of cause and effect is the very basis of the universe.
You–and you alone–are the master of your destiny. You determine the direction of your life and what will come of it. No rationalization or justification will stop the wheels of cause and effect from turning.
As you sow, so shall you reap, whether you “believe in it” or not. That’s just the way it is. The popular expression is karma, usually used to speak of bad things that happen or what one wants to happen to anyone horrible who has crossed them. But karma is not only negative; for those who do good, a positive form exists. So it is best to make your behaviors line up with the effects you prefer to get down the road. There are no coincidences in life, and, in the absolute sense, there are no accidents either.
The current impacting circumstances within your marriage accurately and definitively reflect your past actions and, to a lessor degree, your spouse’s. Think about karma as an individual mechanism, first and foremost.
You use your will to say, do, or think something. That effort sets things in motion. If you, for instance, said something critical, that effort will
- create a negative reaction within the person you criticized.
- create a negative reaction from the person you criticized.
- create a negative reaction within your own mind.
- create a negative reaction within your body.
Had you controlled the criticism at the point when it was merely a thought, or a feeling, the bad karma would never have been created.
If you take this a bit further and convert the initial thought or feeling into something positive, you will have turned things completely around. Your future experiences are entirely in your hands.
As a married couple, since you are one entity, you and your spouse create karma. Both of you will create it and both will either enjoy the results or, forgetting your power, ask, “Why me, Lord?” later on.
There is nobody and nothing you can ultimately blame for whatever marriage troubles you may find yourself in. They are your own creation, just as all your successes are credited to you, too.
The principle of cause and effect in marriage is usually completely overlooked. People entertain ideas of dysfunction and blame, but really there is so much power in your own hands.
Importantly, one other part needs to be mentioned, although this law of marriage and life is much harder to understand. Still, it puts things into a higher perspective. I’m referring to the law of neutrality of events. This means that every–and I do mean every–event we face is essentially neutral. Every individual has the ability to see it the way they choose, as either good or bad. In order to understand this principle we must turn to the lives of various supermen, like Solomon, Mother Theresa, St. Francis, Omar Kayyam, and so forth.
But my favorite example is of the concentration camp inmate who turned his mind to gratitude to God for “not making me like those who put us in here.” He took what anyone would consider awful and focused on the silver lining.
Marriage is mistakenly seen as something you only do, instead of something you need to thoroughly learn about before you partake. It is meant to be a vehicle of great happiness, and it will be when you study it and all its aspects. Then, you will experience only good karma in your marriage, and you will be happy.