The way things are in the world these days, with rampant use of porn and extramarital affairs being pretty much condoned by the immoral “authorities” in Hollywood, it is no wonder that more than a small percentage of families are disrupted when wives discover their husband has strayed. It probably should also be expected that many of our requests for marriage help are very specific; “how do I forgive my husband?”
This is not to say that every wife wants to forgive their husband; some will never get there, and it is too bad. Because in most cases when a wife chooses to forgive, and learns how, their marriage is not only saved, but improves to where it is better than it ever was.
If you are in such an unfortunate position I am truly sorry. But now we must climb out of the hole of despair, and do something positive. That means we start from this point, and move towards a better life, and marriage.
Assuming you are of the mindset to forgive, and you are also prepared to learn how to be married properly, so you will not have to face these kinds of struggles again, I want to give you the secret sauce for forgiveness.
How do I forgive my husband
You cannot keep telling your mind to forgive your husband. That will not work for you. The mind is going to force you to be unforgiving, because it is driven by the drive-to-survive.
What you have to do is come from your heart, which is superior to your mind, so you will clearly see your husband’s actions for what they were; self-destructive escape attempts…No, it was not you he was escaping, but he was unable to handle what is on his plate. Like you, he was never taught the basics of married life, or, if we are to be totally honest, neither of you were taught the basics of how to live; at all. Few people are prepared for life, and this is what happens.
The goal is to step out of the victim role of “what will I do now” or “how can he live with himself (for what he has done to us/me)”, and understand how sad his plight is. Analyze how complicated he made his life, and how his inability to address his own stuff made him act so poorly. If you do this, and refuse to mingle your own plight, you will weep for him; not scorn him. And that is the key!
From there, your marriage will improve because you will be loving him the way you, as a wife, are meant to be; the heart of the family. Men generally just can’t do what you, as a woman, can.
The suggestion here is not so easy a prescription to follow. But only because you have no training in this area. That’s why the very first ting we teach in our program is the SEW technique, with all its supporting knowledge. ..I know I am losing you. But the main point is this (read this article, too); you can forgive your husband, you can move on, you can have a great marriage, and this rough spot can be left behind.
If you decide to, you can save your marriage. We have seen it happen time and again.