Paul Friedman discovered his revolutionary methods of healing marriages as unexpectedly as one would imagine. He was a successful San Diego divorce mediator when a couple who just didn’t want to give up on their marriage after their couples counselor assured them theirs was over sent them to Paul. He took the challenge, The rest is history. Now you can explore these articles and videos by Paul, available on YouTube, covering a wide range of topics to help individuals rediscover lost happiness in their failing marriages.
If you’ve found yourself asking, “How do I make my marriage better?”, rest assured that you’re far from alone. Both newlyweds and seasoned couples often seek ways to enrich their marital lives. This guide offers you strategies, all based on the revolutionary, love-based approach we advocate at The Marriage Foundation (TMF). We go beyond surface-level advice to provide a holistic roadmap for a loving, fulfilling, and resilient marriage. All marriages should provide happiness, marital love, and harmony.
Table of Contents
- Mastering the Art of Marriage Communication: More Than Words
- The Psychology of Arguments: How to Navigate Conflicts Smartly
- Amplifying Intimacy and Sex: The Unconventional Wisdom
- Financial Harmony: How Money Issues Can Make, Not Break, Your Marriage
- Empathic Listening: The Underestimated Tool in Understanding Your Spouse
1. Mastering the Art of Marriage Communication: More Than Words
Many believe that effective communication in a marriage follows the same principles as in other relationships. This is a misguided notion. In marriage, the primary aim of communication should not be transactional or self-serving, but rather an ongoing affirmation of your love for your spouse. The way you bring up and discuss even the most mundane issues will make a significant difference.
For example, men, instead of asking, “Are we ready to leave yet?” you could say, “You look stunning today. Is there anything you need before we head out?” This approach underscores your intent: to express love before diving into practical matters. Ladies, how often to begin a conversation with a complaint instead of a compliment? You already know what a difference it makes. So the next time you find yourself needing to communicate with your spouse, pause and remember that marriage communication is all about love. Marriage is at its core all about love. make your communication line up with your heart’s love.
2. The Psychology of Arguments: How to Navigate Conflicts Smartly
When tensions rise, our emotional defenses eventually kick in, leading us down the path of arguments and fights. However, the truth is that arguing ultimately damages the very fabric of marital bliss; loving harmony. At moments of high tension, your first response may be to utter something hurtful or defensive. When this urge arises, take a deep breath and remain silent. In our marriage-help courses, we teach the SEW technique, which is a foundational technique that stops arguments before they happen. But even without that technique you still need to stop. Nothing good, and you know this, has ever come from winning an argument. Leave that to the politicians and lawyers.
If you find yourself inclined to react, remind yourself that your marriage’s ultimate goals are happiness, love, and harmony. Acting in a manner that undermines these objectives is self-defeating. So, when your mind starts filling with “what if” scenarios, consider these to be the old defense mechanisms that they are. Over time, you’ll find that choosing love over conflict pays substantial dividends in marital happiness.
3. Amplifying Intimacy and Sex: The Unconventional Wisdom
When it comes to intimacy and sex, The Marriage Foundation adopted a revolutionary perspective that stands out from mainstream views. In our philosophy, the act of making love should serve as a profound spiritual connection between two souls, transcending the physical act itself. You are, after all, soulmates, first, and will gain so much from exploring soul-level intimacy.
Strive for a deeper, soulful intimacy that transcends bodily sensations. Visualize the love between you and your spouse flowing like a gentle stream of liquid love during your intimate moments. This shift in focus from physical and recreational to primarily spiritual will transform your experience and marriage, aligning it more closely with the genuine purpose of marital intimacy.
4. Financial Harmony: How Money Issues Can Make, Not Break, Your Marriage
Financial strain is often cited as a significant source of marital discord, but that is an excuse. When your marriage is grounded in genuine love and understanding, money becomes just one of many aspects of life that you navigate together. A strong marital connection acts as a buffer against the stresses that financial and all other challenges can bring. By first connecting with love tackling issues as a united front is easier, filled with consideration and patience, manifestations of love, you reinforce the strength and resilience of your relationship.
5. Empathic Listening: The Underestimated Tool in Understanding Your Spouse
Listening, genuinely listening, is a skill that is often underestimated in its power to improve your connection and marriage. Genuine listening involves more than just hearing words; it means understanding the feelings and intentions behind those words. It is a way of saying “I really care”. This kind of deep, empathic listening can only come from a place of love and a desire to understand your spouse more fully. It’s a skill that takes time to develop, but its impact on the quality of your marriage is immeasurable.
At The Marriage Foundation, we’re committed to elevating marriages through our science-backed, love-centered approach. Our certified TMF Marriage Counselors are always available to answer your questions and provide individualized assistance. We’re here to guide you toward a fulfilling, harmonious, and loving marriage for a lifetime. May you find peace, love, and joy in each other’s company.