Hugh Hefner Hurt Women, Men, And Marriage, Hurting Us All

People who idolize Hugh Hefner or think he was great, should review the impacts of what he did

evil hugh hefner
Very Bad For Women, Men, and Marriage

While most people think of Playboy and the playboy mansion, with its flimsy veneer of sophistication, the legacy of Hugh Hefner is shameful. Popularity does not make something good for you, or society.

When I saw on Facebook that he died I turned to my wife to say I would not want to be in his shoes right now, facing up for the damage he did while he was alive.

He was not a monster, like Stalin or Hitler, but the rolling harm his actions caused was, and is, profound.

The media does anything for publicity. They overlook evil when something is titillating.

I’m too young to personally recall the days of Al Capone, but its well known the media made him look heroic. Can you imagine? They made a gangster out to be some sort of super hero! Same with Hefner, who did more damage to our society than many realize.

Hugh Hefner Harmed Women, Men, And Marriage

The natural and positive success of families is crucial for society to endure.

When there is a breakdown of the family unit, as we quantify by the high rate of divorce, the direct results are clear; declining prosperity, social unrest, and less overall happiness. A great portion of the reason for families breaking apart is the way women are perceived as sex toys, rather than intuitive fountains of love.

The core principle of a family is love. Is it not so?
Love is the underlying reason for every correct behavior within the family. Actions born of love add to the family’s happiness, while selfish actions diminish all-important family bonds, along with everyone’s happiness. I think everyone can agree with this, even if they had not considered it before.

What most people have not thought about, however, is the fact – yes, the FACT – that women are, by nature’s design, the seat of love in the family. You might say, that wives are the heart of a family. I heard that expression many years ago, and found it to be very rarely untrue.

What happens when you make a woman all about her sex appeal?

Telling women their worth is in sexual appearance and performance ignores women’s true virtues, at everyone’s peril. And because immature males run the media conglomerations they love promoting Hugh Hefner’s pre-teen style fascination with sex, and especially how he made sexualizing women appear sophisticated. The Hugh Hefner model is anything but sophisticated. It’s raunchy. But more importantly, making the image of women about sex is completely missing the point  of being a human being.

Of course there will be a number of women who are offended, and some use the offense to express political anger. But they are not representative of most women, who just think men who see them that way are immature.

But the real problem is the number of women who buy into the image, and the greater number of men who miss the incredible benefits a woman’s love and intuition provides.

Women are about being love

In reality, love is, without any reasonable argument, the highest achievement of a human life. I don’t think it demeans women when you make them about sex, nearly as much as it demeans those who miss the truth; that women who are connected to their heart, as most are, are our world’s primary source of human love. Where would any of us be without a mother’s unconditional love? Very few men have the same capacity.

When people, especially children, are taught a woman’s value is in how her body is structured, and how she behaves sexually, they will do everything wrong in their marriage.

Women should see themselves as the light and love within her family; not a sex symbol!
Men should see their wives, and daughters and sisters, as rays of love, not a means for satisfying lustful desires.

Hugh Hefner’s point of view reduces mankind to sexual beings; not having souls; thus lacking the capacity for feeling true love. Perhaps it is because of his training as a psychologist? Western psychology considers your soul to be an abstract creation of the mind, instead of the mind being a possession of the soul. This kind of thinking, that we are just “higher” animals, means that sex is the highest goal; not love.

How Hugh Hefner turns men into losers

It is no secret that young men have to learn to curb their sex drive. If they don’t they will not fit into a society that values monogamy and, thus, family. Young men are supposed to be taught these values, including identifying themselves as protectors; of the family, community, and their country.

Additionally, true human values require self-control to live by. Self-control is not simply valuable, but essential for success in every venue of life. Exercising self-control is the mark of greatness. Caving in to every desire and sensation is the mark of a loser.

But what has Hefner done to us? Although his facade is one of sophistication, it lacks in depth, as Hefner’s approach eclipses discussion values, like self-control. His promotion of masturbation-to-pornography is accepted as normal, with no discussion of any downside.

He excuses and promotes a relief valve for sexual frustration, instead of self-effort and self-control, claiming masturbation reduces sex crimes; a doubtful claim! unfortunately, Western psychologists helps him with this one. Almost any psychologist will tell you it’s okay to masturbate. They too fail to mention any downside.

Yet, now, we all can see what happened to so many boy-men who do not believe in self-control. They are enamored with porn; often preferring porn over an authentic relationship with their wives!

Young unmarried men sit in front of their computers and masturbate. They don’t think twice about justifying it because it is easier than dating. They don’t even see dating as a way of finding a life-mate, a wife-mate.

Men who marry (not all of them, of course) truly believe their wives should just “put out” like the fantasy women in Hugh Hefner’s world. I get their mail every day! So, instead of seeking deep love from their wives, they make their marriage all about sex.

Men who buy into this mindset have reduced themselves; down to dogs who wear a smoking jacket and smoke a pipe; like their hero Hugh Hefner. They lost the ability to rise above the primal drive to procreate, which is an animal drive. They lost the knowledge, that being in service provides deep satisfaction, far beyond an orgasm. They worship genitalia instead of seeking deep love and connection… thanks Hugh, for your contribution to men’s downfall.

The Playboy’s Affect On Marriage

The divorce rate is over 50%
Who does not want to know why it is so high? Who thinks they can fix this devastating reality?

Do you have any idea of what the cost of divorce is?  One statistic that really got to me was that the suicide rate of adolescents from broken homes is over 60%.

In fact the studies at the time showed that over 80% of suicide attempts, not necessarily deaths, were people who came from broken homes.

That’s 80%!

The actual number itself is over 800,000 suicide attempts per year. This mostly unknown impact of divorce on children is troubling.

When Sex Is The Emphasis A Marriage Can’t Succeed

Marriage is supposed to be the most incredible experience of your life; truly! But because of all the emphasis on sex and other material considerations, couples miss the love that is right there for the taking. Why?… It is because of the education that Hugh Hefner, and others of hi ilk, have pushed on us.

Sex cannot sustain a marriage! Money cannot sustain a marriage! Yet, with neither of these two things there are marriages that are so happy you would be feeling the love just dripping off the couple who have it right. Is that to found in Hugh Hefner’s works? NO! His shallow “teachings” of lust and material greed that many young men have been raised on destroys marriages even before they have a chance to flower.

I do not wish death on any man. I do not condemn any soul. But neither do I praise a man who has done so much harm in this world. I am sure there will be some who miss him; I am not among those mourners.

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Paul Friedman
Paul Friedman
Founder & Executive Director
Paul has written two books, produced several video programs, regularly speaks on marriage, and continues to guide the growth of The Marriage Foundation to help enrich the marriages of as many couples as possible around the world.

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