lessons for a happy marriage
The First Marriage Book To Include The Marriage Foundation’s Positive Approach To Marriage Help

Lessons For A Happy Marriage is the first of the two books written by Paul Friedman for those encountering trouble in their marriage. But notably, it is the first marriage help book anywhere, that adheres to the positive approach of The Marriage Foundation. It’s chapters and pages closely follow the system he used with his in-trouble couples; with great, nearly universal, success.

Paul’s style is revolutionary. Rather than sitting on comfy chairs and “talking things out” with individuals or couples, Paul’s approach gets right to the crux of what goes wrong in marriage, and why. Not wasting time with the present issues, he shows the underlying problems that create all the issues that spring from them, from lack of intimacy to porn and affairs.

Lessons For A Happy Marriage does the same thing. This marriage help book is to the point, easy to understand, and at the same time; profound. It will waken you to what you are doing that is undermining your happiness. It opens you up to what can be done, right now, to turn things around.

Paul wrote much of the book in local coffee shops in between clients. Occasionally someone would ask for marriage help and Paul would send them the unfinished manuscript. Here is what one person wrote to Paul a few days after he received this precious gift

Hi Paul,

I want to thank you for sending me your book. I am about half way through and it has immediately impacted my life. I explained to my wife, Lori, our meeting and the book and she has just about completed it. . . .

I am not a very religious person but I do believe in divine intervention. I am beginning to believe our chance meeting just wasn’t that, chance. . . .

I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate what you had shared with me/us. Our marriage is now on the right track of recovery. When I met you on Friday, I literally thought my marriage was done. Now it is not even a thought in my mind.

Again, thank you and if I run into you at Starbucks I owe you a coffee . . . it’s the least I can do.

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Lessons For A Happy Marriage Never Disappoints The Reader

Unlike Breaking The Cycle, which  is more academic because it was written for marriage professionals, or the marriage help programs, which are pointed and guided classes for those who need clear direction to get out of tangled problems (if it is was what you need it is very effective), Lessons For A Happy Marriage exposes the reasons for marriage break downs in clear and simple terms that work for any receptive person. Most people can see themselves in the mirror of what Paul presents, and they learn what they have to do.

The first sales of Lessons For A Happy Marriage were to women who were introduced to Paul at the Second Saturday divorce help forum. Many ladies who were on their way to the divorce courts were saved by this book. For them a marriage rescue was unimaginable. But they discovered Paul, and his logical approach. Although most marriage saves are now through the online program (which includes online support), many are also saved by this simple, but wonderful, book.

Lessons For A Happy Marriage is not a cute little book that deals with a single issue, like communication, or loyalty. Nor is it a marriage “interest” book that shares funny anecdotes. It is all about what comprises the big picture if your  marriage. It shows you what you are doing right, and what you are doing wrong, and how you can tell the difference. Then, what you can do about it.

One screenwriter told Paul “We keep it on our bed-stand, and read from it nearly every night”.

Lessons For A Happy Marriage Shows The Shortcut To Marital Happiness

One of the ways to judge a marriage help book is by how easily you can adopt the principles and techniques you learn. Because if you clearly see the logic of something there is no reason to not make sometimes significant changes right away. In this regard Lessons For A Happy Marriage probably has no equal. Those who read this marriage changing book are able to quickly isolate their own behaviors which need to be rectified, or, in some cases, added to their day-to-day lives. It is impossible to not gain serious benefits from this book, almost regardless of how difficult your marriage is.

Here are some reviews of Lessons

From Good reads

Alex – “Friedman goes to the root of marriage problems by focusing the effort, improvement, and love on the individual. Other marriage books tend to tell you what the other person is thinking, what you can do to help change them, how to get out of poisoned relationship, and mainly focus on how much you have been mistreated. Not Friedman! He truly focuses on how to improve your marriage by shifting the focus on how you can improve yourself. He covers all the basics, from the intimate encounters between husband and wife to the day to day little encounters through explaining communication, intimacy and loyalty (to name a few).
He writes at a level where you can understand, however still retains his professionalism – He is not condescending. He takes from his personal experiences as a mediator and as a husband/divorcee and offers what he has learned.
I highly recommend this book to all married couples. Even if you aren’t having martial problems, it’s a helpful book to keep your marriage on the right path.”

From Amazon

Kurt – I have read many books on marriage over the past 34 years. Lessons For A Happy Marriage is by far the best one I have ever read. I just wish I had read this years ago. It would have saved me thousands of dollars in marriage counseling. Paul Friedman has been able to explain how to get your marriage on track in the most simplest of ways. After reading this book twice now I am making some changes that in two weeks have greatly enhanced my relationship with my wife. Paul Friedman has hit a homerun with this book and anyone married or considering getting married needs to read this one! It is a very easy read with practical ideas that will enhance your marriage immediately.

Deborah – This is an excellent resource! I highly recommend it for all married people, happily & especially unhappily.

To gain more insight into Paul’s philosophy you can read also his interview with  The Goodmen Project

This question was asked: “Some marriages suffer grievous wounds, such as infidelity or emotional abandonment, that can quickly lead to the death of the relationship. It’s clearly easier for most people to walk away when this happens than to try to work things out with the one who caused the injury. Do you believe there is a value—for both one’s personal development and for society at large—in trying to save marriages that have been severely damaged, or are partners in these cases better off cutting their losses and parting ways?”… you may read Paul’s answer in the full interview.

The Marriage Foundation is here to serve those in need of marriage help. Our offerings include

  1. Lessons For A Happy marriage
  2. Breaking The Cycle
  3. Our unbeatable Marriage Help online program
  4. Free online marriage help (simple questions).
  5. Live help from a TMF certified counselor (for extreme problems).

As a nonprofit, we gratefully accept donations from those who wish to show gratitude in that way, and from those who wish to join our efforts to help. Our other focus is on new marriages, through the Premarital Academy.


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