True and Actual Definition of Marriage

by Paul Friedman
definition-of-marriage

Definition

“Marriage is an individual spiritual path that two soulmates take together”

Most people are used to a simple definition of marriage such as “a lifetime institution conceived of, comprised of, and created together by two people, and legitimized by the govt and/or by religious authority …” and those are true…to a point.
If marriage was like purchasing a car or forming a business partnership those would be just fine. But marriage is the most incredible gift God has given us and has definite purposes along with a definite science that allows us to achieve the ultimate goal of marital bliss.

When I was a divorce mediator (over 20 years ago) I believed in divorce and thought that marriage counselors who used western psychology knew about and understood marriage. I love them because they want to serve, but psychology is all wrong for marriage. And, although religious guidance is better, the science that serves us is a combination of material science and spiritual science that will bring you the benefits of marriage we sign up for when we say “I do”.

Spiritual doesn’t mean religion.

I love all religions, but when I use the term spiritual for marriage, it is love, and happiness I am talking about. Both are spiritual by definition. You can’t touch them but with your very soul you can feel them.

Let's break it down:

1. We got married to be happy and live in love.

old-happy-couples
There is no denying that the vast majority of us fall in love and that’s why we move in together or, more usually, get married. A pew research study confirms just that. Up to 90% of married folk say they got married because they were in love; hard to argue with such a high percentage and nobody should, it is common sense. We all want to be happy, don’t we? We all want to experience unconditional love, don’t we? The connection that people have become a little shy about making is that both love and happiness are much more than emotions (which are of the mind), they are the foremost qualities of the soul. Are you starting to get the impression that The Marriage Foundation is not mainstream? You would be right.

Many of our followers are finding us on YouTube with videos like this one:

2. We are souls

woman-enjoying-the-sunset
Again, this is not about religion, but we need to be unashamed to talk about what we are. The confusion these days is because the vocal minority is trying to upend what we who love God believe and know to be true. We know in every fiber of our being that God is real, that we are souls, and God loves us…again, this is not about religion.

3. A spiritual path is one lived in happiness and love

woman-meditating
We have read about many saints of many religions and the two constants are that they live for love and happiness. It is exactly the same things we seek when we marry, and what can be more spiritual than that? Love is spiritual. Love isn’t an emotion. Emotions present a copy of love. Love is that indescribable, spiritual, feeling that the mind cannot handle. It is what we all crave! And happiness? Well, true happiness in an inside job. The fleeting happiness we get from fleeting outer conditions are, well, fleeting. But the joy we get from love is so deep, it is of the soul, it is by definition, spiritual.

4. Marriage is more than a lifetime agreement

newly-wed
Yes, we get married to be together for our lifetime and there are practical reasons for that, but those reasons, as important as they are, pale in contrast to the deep bond and loyalty we feel for our soulmate and that is what makes it spiritual and that makes marriage with them our unique spiritual path.

5. God wants us to be happy

old-happy-couple
This is important. I know that God loves me, He loves you, and He loves us all. But the world likes to think of God as out there somewhere, or an “abstract thought” (that’s what most psychologists call God). It only stands to reason that our Father wants us to live in joy and love, as He does, and that the gift of marriage is an ideal venue for that, exactly!

Commonly Found Marriage Definitions

The reason I have provided the above is that the true definition of marriage has become mired in either religious or secular agendas. Any of the links below will show you useless definitions for marriage:

Dictionary.com
Oxforddictionaries.com
Wikipedia.com

We are human beings, a very special creation who can live in love and happiness because we have free will and…and here is where it gets interesting. Until we learn how to run our marriage we get all sidetracked and miss the ways. To remedy that almost universal problem I have put together “ultimate” studies for both engaged couples and newlyweds and those who are struggling to revitalize their marriage. Just visit our website and look around. We all deserve the best.

Do you have a question you would like to ask one of our TMF marriage counselors?

YES, I HAVE
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Paul Friedman
Paul Friedman
Founder, The Marriage Foundation
Paul devised an entirely new approach to marriage that empowers individuals to finally understand and cultivate expanding happiness and love in their marriages.

He has written two books, produced several video educational programs, regularly speaks on marriage, and founded The Marriage Foundation as a non-profit organization.

Our mission is to end divorce by spreading Paul's revolutionary marriage system around the world. We have helped thousands of individuals and couples for nearly 20 years and in over 45 countries.

6 thoughts on “True and Actual Definition of Marriage”

  3. Suzette Williams Reply

    I’ve been married for three and a half months, and it’s been hell! I can Identify with a lot being said, however, my spouse seems otherwise. After getting married he shared with me he has a sex addiction. I believe it’s active because we’re not having any much! I’m really concerned because he gets up 5:30 in the morning and leaves the house and is gone for hours without any explanation of where he was when he returns. Thursday through Saturday this recently start. He also shared with me he has frequent tricking with the lot lizards in the past. I really don’t want it to be a slap in the face to God because we went before him to get His blessings. When we talked about doing it I thought this was on the up and up, and by doing so we wouldn’t be living a fornicating lifestyle! But, what I come believe is he’s just using this time to get on hiis feet to move on to the next relationship. Within myself recognizing a familiar past relationship, I’m seeing some of the same signs! I need help.

    • Paul Friedman Post authorReply

      I think your interpretation of fornication is misplaced. When you are married you are supposed to be intimate. In some religions, like the Jewish religion, having intimate relations with your husband is considered a blessing and is encouraged for both spiritual and practical reasons.
      If you cannot agree on having sex at this stage it is only going to get worse. Get on the same page or, so early in your marriage, end it and take off this pressure.

    • Paul Friedman Post authorReply

      Thank you, it just sort of “came to me” and seems perfect.

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