One of the great myths about marriage is that it "takes two" to make a marriage work. Don’t believe it for a second! This myth has destroyed far too many marriages. Don't let it kill yours!
The "two-to-tango" concept applies to dancing, business deals, and other activities, but simply does not apply to marriage.
Marriage is different. Marriage is not a give and take relationship, and doesn't work like other relationships.
When you understand marriage scientifically, you realize it only takes one determined spouse to make your marriage happy and healthy. This does NOT mean that one person becomes a doormat. It means you understand the principles of marriage and are able to use them effectively.
All other relationships require constant cooperation, and an equal or fair level of effort from everyone involved. That’s what makes them work. They are based on what you give in exchange for what you get.
But marriage is not a “give and take” relationship. Even though it may appear like other relationships in some respects, it is different.
Your relationship is like two people building a bridge from opposite sides of a river. If only one person builds the bridge, it still gets built. Only one of you needs to adhere to the principles of marriage in order to improve your relationship.
Marriage does not require both of you to be working at it equally. You just need do your own part, regardless of your mate’s efforts. Sometimes your part needs to be much greater than your partner’s. If that is the case, then do it. It’s just your turn. No time limits or expectations. Just do it.
Have compassion for your spouse. Nobody is at their best all the time, nor at their worst all the time. Every person has ups and downs, and we cannot predict when someone is going to be spiritually, psychologically, or physically ill. We all get caught with our pants down sometimes. As a spouse, you have to accept this. You have to do your part to express unconditional love with whole-hearted effort! At least to the best of your ability.
When one is doing all they can to save their marriage, even if the other is just hanging in, waiting to see what happens, the effort made by one will make all the difference.
Even in relationships where one partner is “over it,” we have seen remarkable recoveries that turn into incredible marriages. You can do it, too!
Don’t give up! Do your part to the best of your ability, without expectations of your spouse, and we will show you how to improve your marriage and your life.
A Happy Marriage is a Normal Marriage, no matter what some experts tell you.
A well respected website had an article recently entitled, "Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage." In this article, one of the points stated was, "Happiness is not the most important thing."
Seriously? How could happiness not be the most important thing? Is marriage a punishment? Is marriage a burden to prove ourselves? Why would anyone ever get married if happiness is not the most important thing?
This kind of thinking illustrates what a crummy job the psychology community has done as the self-proclaimed marital experts of the world. Their teachings are a distraction from what marriages are meant to be. I don't buy into them and I hope you don't either.
A happy marriage is normal, and happiness should be expected when you are married.
When you approach marriage as a scientific construct—with its individual parts, goals, and obstacles—and view it objectively, you cannot help but succeed. When you understand the dynamics and principles of marriage, then you step back and ask, “How am I going to create happiness in my marriage?”, you cannot help but succeed.
You are not a helpless victim of your marriage! If your marriage is filled with conflict and tension, there are many things you can do to reduce the tension and eliminate the conflicts. For example:
Happiness is your birthright, but so is free will. When you choose to be happy, you will be, no matter your circumstances. When you choose to make your marriage the happiest place on Earth, it will be.
We have seen plenty of dysfunctional and unhappy marriages. Prior to forming The Marriage Foundation, Paul Friedman was a divorce mediator for the general public and a divorce consultant for many rich and famous clients. Seeing the same patterns over and over again, he decided to create the foundation to save marriages.
Paul discovered that divorce was not making anyone happy. For some it appeared to help at first because they got away from their immediate pain, but it was a temporary escape. They experienced momentary relief, but it didn't last long.
The misery they felt in marriage didn't come from their spouse, nor from incompatibility, nor irreconcilable differences. Their unhappiness came from how they perceived they were being treated and from placing expectations on their spouse. Divorce wasn't the solution. Learning how to be married was.
Those who say, "do not expect happiness in marriage," are those who don't know how to be married! We at The Marriage Foundation have shown thousands of couples how to find happiness in marriage. Who are you going to believe?
Test our logic and science. If your marriage is unhappy or failing, you do not have to give up and lose it all. Of the many couples who divorce, the vast majority could have been saved. You can save your marriage and turn it into the relationship you've always dreamed about.
by Paul Friedman
I met Dana in 2008, when I was a guest speaker at the now famous "Second Saturday" in San Diego. It is a seminar for women learning about divorce, but I was there to provide a last-resort option for those who wanted a chance to save their marriage.
She and her reluctant husband talked with their pastor, then she dragged him to many marriage counseling sessions, but ultimately he was just not into it. He wanted out, and finally she did too.
But being a good mom and wife, as inevitable as it seemed, giving up was not an easy option she could allow herself. "What can I do?" she asked me after she told me her story. "I am not even sure if I still love him. And I am sure he has had enough of me."
I asked her if she was willing to put aside her fears and make an effort. "Are you ready to do what I show you, as long as it makes sense? As long as it is reasonable and looks like it will work?"
Dana agreed and signed up for our courses. She applied herself to healing her marriage and reached out to us when she didn't understand something. She reported that our instruction finally helped them.
It is true that there are some couples who won't make it, but the numbers who fail are few and far between. It works for nearly everyone.
Over the years I have seen successes that I could hardly believe myself. I have seen couples who psychologists refused to see unless one person moved out or did some other drastic behavior. Time and time again we find that women who are sincere are successful.
It is all in the right education. You can do it too. You can beat the odds, Don't give up. Believe me, it is much easier to rebuild your marriage and family than get a divorce and suffer the rest of your life.
Later, her husband contacted me too. He happily told me how he had no choice but to fall in love with Dana again. He said that she was the best wife imaginable and he would never give her up, not for anything.
Your situation is unique. Your spouse is unique too, and so the difficulties you are going through are also unique.
However there are similarities to other situations, and common patterns of thought and behavior that many people experience in their relationships.
Thus, it is critically important to understand how the wrong actions of thought, speech, and behavior destroy marriages, so you can gracefully stop them dead in their tracks.
Our courses explain in detail how the mind works, how the body affects the mind, how your reactions and emotions take over, and what to do about it. How can you be happy when you are angry at your husband or wife all the time? Instead, start learning our highly effective methods to stop fighting, end the tension, and create a foundation from which to rebuild your loving connection.
The purpose of this course is to teach you how to create a marriage you love being in. A marriage that is as fulfilling as you could ever imagine. We have seen it happen time and time again.
Our teachings are scientific. Our teachings are understandable. Our teachings will change your marriage and your life. Of this there is no question.
We do not believe there is any relationship that can compete with marriage. But if you do not understand marriage and how to make it work, you will not be able to enjoy the benefits.
You deserve to know how to have a happy marriage. Get started today.
Education is a Proven Solution to Heal Your Marriage
Through years of research, trial and error working with couples, The Marriage Foundation developed the science of marriage which reliably produces happy, fulfilling marriages.
We have refined our curriculum to be easy to understand and apply to your marriage.
Regularly watch the video classes, study the written material, and watch your marriage transform!
As you positively change your behavior, your spouse will start to respond differently. Over time they may be inspired to join you in improving your marriage.
"I'm really delighted with the course..."
"I'm so happy to have the support I am now getting from you. I'm really delighted with the course and am very much enjoying it."
"The fighting began before the baby."
"The fighting began before the baby. The problem is we are both so stubborn and always want the last word, instead of trying to sort it out. There is so much love in our relationship but it was always pushed to the back because of our constant bickering. Now we know how to work things out calmly and respectfully!"
Many couples consider traditional marriage counseling, but have you researched how much it costs, how long it takes, and how successful the approach is? Beware though, as many of our students come to us after seeing several counselors with unsatisfactory results.
Counselors typically charge anywhere between $45 and $200 for a 50 minute session. Most couples stay in marriage counseling for 6, 9, 12 months or longer. There are no guarantees of results, and especially none during the first several weeks which are usually spent "just getting to know you". Sadly, most couples who go through traditional marriage counseling end up divorced.
This table shows how much you can expect to pay a traditional marriage counselor.
Traditional Marriage Counseling
6 Months (26 sessions)
9 Months (39 sessions)
12 Months (52 sessions)
Traditional marriage counseling gets expensive very quickly. And there are NO refunds!
At TMF, our process removes the need for marriage counseling entirely. There is no need to pay thousands of dollars and waste months or years to save your marriage.
Try our program and see for yourself how effective our positive approach is.
If you are not satisfied for any reason, just let us know within 90 days to receive a full refund. No risk, no hassles.
"I feel free and have joy again"
"Thank you! I feel free, have joy again, and the confidence I'll have a wonderful marriage and life... Thank you for inspiring me!"
"I read all the self-help stuff by Tony Robbins and others..."
"I never understood what a spiritual marriage was, or how to include God in our marriage. I am not religious and didn't want to hear all that crap (pardon the language). But now I get it! ...and I read all the self-help stuff by Tony Robbins and others but never understood about controlling the mind before. You helped us! What can I say... most unexpected, but most happy. Thanks. Can't fail now..."
"I worked in the psych field for over 30 years... They're nuts"
"I worked in the psych field for over 30 years. I would never see any of those guys. They're nuts... I'm back with my husband and everything is perfect. Thank you!"
The Marriage Foundation has helped thousands of couples heal their marriage. It was founded in 2009 by Paul Friedman who had been saving marriages in a private practice since 2003. Paul has spoken at many events and support groups. He has taught groups of psychologists and marriage coaches who in turn used these teachings to help save the marriages of their clients.
What you will discover is the final word in marriage education. These classes will be useful from the very beginning. Watch as your marriage transforms right before your eyes. Experience the promised joys of marriage unfold naturally.
Why shouldn't your marriage be the best? That is what we ask! And our answer is an emphatic Your marriage should, can, and will be the best!
We do not believe in unhappy marriages, and you will learn for yourself why we are so confident. Marriage is scientific. What we teach works like mathematics.
Is it Possible Things Will Straighten Out on Their Own?
We can assure you that things will not fix themselves.
Your problems, though they have grown over time, are basic, simple problems that every couple goes through if they have not learned how to be married. Really, the only secret sauce is knowledge, and that is exactly what you will gain from the Marriage Help Course: the marital education you never got.
We know your relationship is unique. Though we cannot tell you how your marriage is splintering, we know there are only a few fundamental causes to why you are not getting along. We also know what you need to do for your marriage to become great. We provide this instruction in simple, understandable terms, with great analogies and clear steps.
We also know your marriage was never as good as you thought it should be or imagined. How could it have been? When you finally learn how to be married, it will be everything you dreamed it could be.
Should I Wait?
NO! Don't wait! Why continue suffering? There is NO valid reason to wait.
Think about your marriage like being lost in the woods. You don’t know which way to go, and you don’t know what to do. You know waiting will not help. The solution is to start taking action. We start you on the right path, which brings results very fast. Now, these results are not enough, so you need to keep at it. But you will at least see that our process is effective and based on action rather than hope.
Sure there are times when nothing will help, but that is so rare in our experience. To cover these situations, we offer an unconditional 90 day money-back guarantee. We are here to help, not play games with you. If you are married to a child molester who is abusing your children, you have no business trying to keep your family intact, and you know it. But if you are just two normal people stuck in the mud with your marriage, then get started right away- don't wait. Waiting will NOT help you. Starting right now is the best thing you can do for yourself, your spouse, and your children.
"Some of what you said seemed really cheesy. But I got to admit, it worked."
"It's now been 3 months and things are getting better."
"It’s now been 3 months and things are getting better. We are communicating more openly, and he is slowly… very slowly I think coming back to the marriage."
"Hi, this is Paul Friedman, founder of The Marriage Foundation and I want you to know something. This foundation is nonprofit. Why? Because this science is going to become the way for marriages, everywhere. It has to work. It is based on basic scientific principles applied to marriage. It isn't radical. It is just reliable. We are committed to helping you and everyone whose path we cross. All I want is for your marriage to be happy, so your munchkins will be safe."
P.S. Don't give up on your marriage just because so many others have. Stay with it. Learn from us, and have the kind of marriage you are supposed to have. I have the best marriage ever, and you can, too.