How Women Can Save Their Marriage By Themselves

How Women Can Save Their Marriage By Themselves
It Only Takes YOU To Heal Your Marriage

How am I going to save my marriage?  I’ve tried everything this past year then this morning I discovered…..” 

Your marriage is not over!

Some women think it’s chauvinistic to suggest a woman can lead the way to heal her marriage, (we get occasional complaints), but that’s nonsense. With the right guidance you, all on your own, can heal your marriage and family.

You can turn your marriage around, all by yourself, with the right tools

“By yourself” doesn’t mean you have to be the only one who works on building the connection. It only means you are taking the lead. And, this approach works, better than any other!

IT’S A BAD IDEA TO GIVE UP WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE TO
When I spoke at the largest women’s divorce help seminar in the country, women who came for divorce help were thrilled to learn they could still possibly heal things; many succeeded; with my help.

Some women think you can’t get over being mad, or it’s not possible to forgive. Others think “he won’t change“.

But you CAN change, and so can your husband. Not through discipline, coercion, or moral obligation, which is what most women try, only to discover it makes things much worse. But men will change, just as you do, when they “see it for themselves”.

This is not false encouragement. I created new, special techniques that work. The old ways turn you into either a victim, a nag, or worse. We want you to preserve your dignity, and your family.

Some women think both people have to work work on their marriage; together. It sounds right. But it’s not true!

Women are naturally collaborative. Women work together in ways that build consensus and unity in vision. It’s what they do, so they think it’s how men operate too. But that is not how men do things.

Men are more “simple’. Like, “tell me what I have to do, and I’ll do it”. They don’t think, feel, or act the way women do. A man will ask you to hold something while he works on it, but that’s the extent of “working together”. It’s a handicap men have.

Unless you ‘work around’ this decidedly male trait, you will feel slighted, neglected, or ‘shut out’ of his life.

Marriage is the ultimate together thing, but still comprised of two individuals

By your individual efforts alone, you can re-create your marriage

Rampant imagination and fear is crippling

 Fear is one of the common reasons people wait so long. But it’s not too late. Now is the time to act to change things for the better.

To save your marriage, all you need do is put one foot in front of the other. You just need to know where to step!

You have to be realistic, of course. Stop what you have been doing that you know, and learn, you should stop.

  1. Current “usual” (both of you) behaviors brought your marriage to this juncture. The rule of thumb is “if you want to get out of a hole you dug yourself into, STOP DIGGING. Stop the destructive behaviors.
  2. Neither of your “thinking”, has been “marriage oriented”. Women lead the way in areas of intimacy, communication, and marital cohesion. Forget “sharing the load”. Expectations of “fairness” will undermine your giving it your all. You need to give it your all! He WILL come around.
  3. Continuing as you are will continue to hurt your marriage. Repeating the same actions and thinking will not bring different or better results. You need to change. It’s fine for you to lead the way.
  4. You can heal your marriage individually, and succeed. I explain “why” it works when the wife decides and makes the effort without her husband doing a darn thing, for now. But overcoming your doubt is easier when you use my course.
  5. What you need to know cannot be picked up in articles or “invented” by youIf you knew what to do you wouldn’t need our help, and your marriage would be fine. You need our help!

There are only two of you, so when only one of you changes (permanently), the other reacts differently, (it’s common sense) and your marriage changes. It’s cause and effect.

Our course provides the ultimate approach for your situation because it is guaranteed to work and you can try it for free. Your husband will come around. They almost always do. See our reviews and testimonials!

You can completely turn your marriage around alone

Some ladies are skeptical, and it’s understandable because of all the nonsense put out there as “marriage knowledge”. Logic AND our results, proves you can do this without your husband even knowing you have taken it on.

Waiting for your husband to get on board makes things much worse, and your marriage will go downhill even faster. Momentum means things moving in a direction continue to accelerate. Isn’t it time to shift??

Marital happiness depends upon what I call the “underlying dynamics” of marriage. They include

  • A clear vision of what marriage is, and isn’t
  • Simple adherence to the “laws” of marriage…”laws” govern everything
  • Practical techniques for controlling one’s own mind, including emotions, anger, fear, etc.
  • Practical and useful techniques of communication

When the above is fulfilled, and it does not have to be fulfilled perfectly, marital happiness is inevitable, and marriage decline becomes impossible.

The way to think about the underlying dynamics is like the soil a plant is in. In healthy soil a plant thrives, even when attacked by bugs, viruses, and other threats. The first step to heal the plant is fix the soil. Fixing the underlying dynamics of your marriage is your first step!

Also, you need to

  1. Calm down the mind, and
  2. Gain inward control over the mind…this is our specialty!

I was a divorce mediator who became a marriage saver. I have seen it all. Now I can help with pretty much anything in marriage with the scientific system I created, which is based on universal principles and biological considerations. It absolutely works!

I had to create our program from scratch because when I was exposed to Western psychological approaches I was struck by it’s ineffectiveness. What I have works and you will see it working almost within hours.

Our course and counseling combo is guaranteed

Our course, (which is 40 online videos), and the email counseling, come together. Our counselors are here when you need them. I trained them. I make certain they keep you progressing. You have everything to gain, and nothing to lose!

Aren’t you ready for a great marriage?

It’s okay if you are not quite ready, and it’s okay to keep looking around. Of course!

In the meantime, you may want to read one of my books. My books are not  gimmicky. Both of them were written to convey everything anyone needs to know about marriage. But they won’t “guide” you the way the system does. The system is better because it’s faster and simpler.

The gender specific specific courses are directive. Each gender has a different course. When your husband is interested (they almost always want to because of the changes their wife is making) his course will be geared for men.

Usable advice for right now

These few points will slow down the plunge. At the very least it may stop you from doing much more harm.

  • If “something” happened that really brought this to a head, like you found text messages, or discovered him cheating, or the like;
    Do NOT Confront HIM!
    The downsides are numerous, and there are no upsides; none!

Please, write to our counselors if you need to understand better. It is free for you to write to us.

  • Don’t speak about your marriage problems with others; not parents, friends, clergy, counselors (especially a “marriage” counselor), or anyone else. You CAN, and should, speak with God of course… but that’s it.
  • Protect yourself if you have to. If your husband beats you, it’s not okay to hang around. If he beats the kids, same thing. If he is spending all your money, you have to be practical. If he is having sex with others you need to use protection, or cut him off. But don’t be foolish.
  • Don’t give up! I know it’s hard to go through what you are facing, but giving up ends all opportunity for future happiness.

Take what’s happening as a “wake-up call”

You can shift everything. But don’t think you know how, or what you should do going forward; you will fail if you think you know more than we do.

Marriage is essentially a joining of two souls. That means there is a bridge between your hearts. If only one of you sincerely builds the bridge between your souls then both of you will enjoy the sweet benefits.

It would be wise to review our offerings here, which will prompt you to sign up for our unique 5 day free trial.

If you would like to go directly to the sign up page for the 5 day free trial, which includes the payment plans which kick in after the trial you can go to the sign up page here.

Please be sure to leave a comment, and like our page with others who may need marriage help. If you would like to get more information, or marriage help with a particular need, you can reach us here.

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Paul Friedman
Paul Friedman
Founder & Executive Director
Paul has written two books, produced several video programs, regularly speaks on marriage, and continues to guide the growth of The Marriage Foundation to help enrich the marriages of as many couples as possible around the world.

6 thoughts on “How Women Can Save Their Marriage By Themselves

  1. CassieReply

    I read this entire post, but still feel entirely helpless. I don’t think our marriage can be saved. I don’t know how to move on from years of emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and intense controlling behaviors. He alternates between cruelty and gentle kindness; treating me like a treasure one day and then telling me all of the things that are wrong with me and acting like I will never measure up to his expectations the next. I don’t want to destroy my child’s life by getting a divorce, but I feel like I’m going to lose my sanity and/or will to live if this continues. I read this entire article, but don’t feel like it really applies or can help this situation….

    • Paul Friedman Post authorReply

      There should never be a time you are willing to put your children, or yourself in real danger. If your children are victims of sexual abuse it is your duty, as their mother, or anyone else for that matter, to call the authorities.

      To all others, who may be subjected to overt cruel insanity, do not allow your imagination to either overplay, or downplay what is going on. Protecting your children and yourself is the highest priority in those rare (thank God) cases

  2. Lucy ComptonReply

    I met my partner 12 years ago, we got married September 2017, 12 years to the day we first met. We have had a few problems in the past and took a break from each other for a few months in 2010 6 months after our son was born. My Husband has 2 other children one is in the proccess of being adopted by his step father, he is from my husband’s previous marriage that did not end well, his eldest son is now 20, my husband has a good relationship with him and his ex. From the first time I met his eldest son we hit it off and the 3 of us used to have so much fun. Of course my son came along just as my step son turned into a teen and things went down hill. My step son doesn’t live with us and has never had a stable up bringing, he then turned to drugs and alcohol. I don’t think children should be in that kind of environment and I don’t want that for my son (who loves his big bro) so we didn’t see him much for a while. He now works for my husband and just recently I have noticed a change in my husband. Last night my step son stayed at our house and we trusted him to watch our 7 yr old son while we went food shopping, we came back to find my step son in our kitchen with 3 of his friends the house smelt so bad of cannabis I was almost sick, they were using bad language and had left my son in the front room on his own, all my husband did was to get angry at me because I was fuming about the situation. To me this is unforgivable and I don’t know how to get past it. We are meant to be going on a cruise in August as a late honeymoon but at the moment I can’t even look at my husband, what can i do?

    • Paul Friedman Post authorReply

      First, you must recognize the futility of expectations.A person, your husband, your step son, your biological son; all will do what they do based on more influences than you can decipher in a thousand years. People who ascribe a behavior, or attitude, to one or two things are imagining themselves to have a much greater power of reasoning than is humanly possible; though sometimes they may get it almost right.

      Therefore, fuming at your husband is a waste of time at best, and an undermining behavior at worst.

      Do you want an improved relationship with your husband? If so, you ought to read one of my books, or take the course, to get clarity about what works to bring love and harmony into your marriage; then focus on those things where you can see it will do the most good.

  3. ElizabethReply

    But what if you just can’t get over the intimate relationship your husband had with another woman? My husband moved out and replaced me with someone else. They held hands on the sofa, they shared meals that she cooked for him, they watched tv together. Tiny little details that have destroyed my world. I can’t bare him to touch me when he touched her in the same way. I can’t bare to cook for him or care for him, when he allowed her to do that. He would have said the same things to her as he said to me. They shared a bed together, lying next to each other talking before going to sleep. Those are the things that destroyed our marriage. They will always be there. So he says sorry. That does NOTHING. I can never forgive or forget what he has done. How odes any of your course help with that? It has been 2 years since I found out and I still feel exactly the same. I’m just staying because you say I will ruin my children’s lives if I leave. So I just feel like my life is over. Your course can’t take away what he has done, nor can it make me feel any differently about it.

    • Paul Friedman Post authorReply

      Elizabeth
      It is true, as you say, that your children will not do well if you split the family. There is NO arguing this, although many rationalize it away.

      But your other claims are not true!

      When I created the course for women it was with people like you in mind, who ere suffering from the past and don’t know how to get beyond it.

      The course will absolutely give you the exact tools to not only get past all the humiliation and suffering, but guide you to happiness in your marriage. My system and techniques work!

      Before you give up (and you don’t want to give up) try the course! Its guaranteed to work, and our counselors will help you every step of the way…It may not be easy for you, but I promise it will work.

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