#1 Marriage System
Over 94% of our clients experience dramatic improvement.
No other system delivers results as fast.
Take advantage of our 5-day free trial and see for yourself.
"My husband and I are doing great, thanks to you. Life is looking good again, and we have managed to come through our issue. We are still together and very happy. Thank you!"
– Mary & Herman N.
Save Your Marriage in 12 Weeks
We guarantee your marriage will improve dramatically, or your money back.
Many of our clients came to us after spending thousands of dollars and 6-12 months in marriage counseling. After all that, counseling did nothing for them. Our system helped them for a fraction of the cost, and in only a few weeks.
We've found that counseling (i.e. psychoanalysis) works well for personal issues, but fails when applied to marriages. This is clearly demonstrated in divorce rates. Marriage counseling has been around for 100 years, and in that time, the rate of divorce has gone up 300%!
Our founder, Paul Friedman, devised a new approach that is focused simply on educating people. By empowering couples with the knowledge of what drives their and their spouses behavior; by providing tools to communicate, to stop fighting, and to connect; and an understanding of how to nurture true, unconditional love, our clients are easily able to navigate any future marital challenge.
Because we empower the individual, our unique system works even if only one spouse is using it!
Imagine feeling empowered in your marriage
You no longer have to feel disconnected, disrespected, or unloved. By understanding how marriage works, and having the right tools, you'll enjoy the security and love that comes from smoothly sailing your marriage.
Our system is comprehensive, but simple to understand and apply to your marriage. It has been refined by working with thousands of couples, over 14 years. TMF was founded as a non-profit organization, with a mission to end divorce by spreading this revolutionary system around the world. We currently have clients in 27 countries.
Don't suffer another day. Read about our system below, and let's get started making you happy again.
New York, NY
"You were literally our last chance. My husband didn't want to go to counseling or talk or anything. The system really worked for us. It didn't take very long, and I hardly needed your help. But you REALLY helped when I really needed encouragement. Thank you, thank you, thank you."
What's In The TMF Marriage System?
Online Videos You Can Watch Anywhere
Watch your video classes on any device, 24x7, anywhere. Each course contains over 40 videos and written lessons, spread out over two months. Each week, you'll receive new, uplifting and informative lessons selected and presented by our founder, Paul Friedman. Once you receive a lesson, you'll have permanent access to it so you can go back and review, or work at your own pace.
Different Men's and Women's Courses
Women and men see themselves, their spouse, and their marriage in completely different ways. Providing separate courses is one of the true highlights of our system as we are able to give you each a unique, positive view of your spouse like you've never had before. Marriage is supposed to be positive and happy, just like this course.
Step By Step Instruction
The courses guide you along a deliberate path that will ensure your success and ultimate happiness. Just watch the videos, apply what you are learning to your marriage and ask questions when you get stuck. It works, and you can do it.
Your marriage will become a fountain of tangible love and joy, ever flowing for you, your spouse, and your children to drink from.
The dream we all got married for can be a reality, but only once the negativity is cleared away, the misunderstanding is replaced with wisdom, and real unconditional love is expressed. Our clients have turned that dream into a reality. It doesn't have to be a dream for you anymore, either.
You will be guided through these steps in improving your marriage:
Step 1 - Eliminate All Fighting
As soon as you sign up, you'll learn how to stop the fighting, cold shoulders and other negative communication, and techniques for cooling down emotions. This will allow your marriage to stabilize and your home to be much more peaceful.
Step 2 - Rebuild The Foundation Of Your Marriage
Next, explore The 3 Killers of Marriage™, destructive and beneficial behaviors in marriage, effective communication, and understanding the unique natures of you and your spouse. This lays a solid foundation for constructing an ideal marriage.
Step 3 - Create An Unconditional Marriage
Finally, the courses cover how to live with your spouse in a Sacred Space™, how your children fit within your new marriage, how to achieve unconditional love, and how to build a marriage that gets better every day.
Click below to expand the sections.
Read About An Example Technique
Your emotions don't distinguish between truly life threatening situations and things that don't really matter, like towels left on the bathroom floor, or someone was rude. Many mundane situations can trigger emotions as powerful as being mugged or attacked.
And in relationships, we often create habitual responses. We know how our spouse will respond. Perhaps as much as 90% of our actions are driven by habits. But when our habits are negative emotional reactions (like yelling, cold shoulders, judgement, criticism), then our habits are driving the destruction of our marriage.
Once you realize this and see for yourself how your words harm your spouse, you still might not be able to stop them before they slip out in the heat of an argument.
It is very difficult to change the habits that drive our lives. Paul created the S.E.W. technique which is truly revolutionary in its ability to help us get a handle on our reactive tendencies and slice through negative habits.
Even beginners with the S.E.W. technique learn to stop the harmful words right away.
With regular practice, you'll be able to stop the negative emotions that drive the words. Eventually, by retraining your mind, not even the critical thought that triggered the emotions will rise.
With the S. E.W. technique, you'll still be able to deal with the real problems in life, but you'll do so from a more peaceful, happier place, which will allow your marriage to flourish.
Watch A Selected Video From The Women's Course
The Powerful Woman: Setting Your Intentions
Watch A Selected Video From The Men's Course
Communication: Must Do's For Men
Ongoing Support From TMF Certified Counselors
We have counselors trained and certified in our principles, available to answer your questions. This service is included in the price of the system. Just write to them through the client portal, and they will get back to you promptly.
This is not therapy or traditional counseling. They won't get into your childhood, or psychoanalyze you. They will help you understand and apply our principles to your marriage.
An Unconditional, 90-Day Money Back Guarantee
Most people see progress within the first week. The courses takes 2 months to complete, but you'll have a full 90 days to decide if this is right for you. If not, just let us know and we'll refund all of the money you paid.
TMF Marriage System
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"TMF helped me find the peace I was longing for, from what seemed like an impossible situation. It caused such a transformation in my marriage, which was on the way to divorce. TMF continues to make changes for peace, happiness and beautiful love in our marriage. Because of TMF we celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. In the decades of my experience, besides God and the Bible, there is no other successful marital help like it. It is deeply appreciated."
Frequently Asked Questions
Click a question to expand the section.
What Situations Can You Help?
We have seen some true miracles. Many of our clients came from a long string of ineffective counselors. Other clients had been turned away by counselors because their problems seemed too difficult. Yet in the end they were able to save their marriages with our methods. We've helped couples in all of the following situations and more:
- Cheating and emotional affairs
- Lack of intimacy
- Fallen out of love
- Constant fighting, nagging, criticism
- Lazy, depressed, or withdrawn spouses
- On the brink of divorce or separation
- Resenting your spouse
- Poor communication
- Verbal and emotional abuse
Are There Couples You Can't Help?
Though we can't save every couple, we can usually help couples that other professionals can't or won't help. There are however some unfortunate circumstances where even we cannot help:
1) If there is abuse, where you or your children are in danger, we do not recommend you stay in the home. Get away from the abuser and into a safe environment. However, we have seen couples move back in together when it is safe to do so.
2) If you or your spouse is abusing drugs or alcohol, realize that chronic abuse of any substance is never good when you want to make positive change. Individual efforts are much easier without the burdensome effects caused by drugs and alcohol. Our system will certainly help a lot with your marriage, even in this situation, but please seek professional help to address the addictions.
3) If your wife has left the home and is involved with another man, we've not been able to save marriages in this situation. It is different if the husband leaves due to a different motivation driving the separation. We've had determined wives attract their husbands home, even after they had been living with a younger woman for months. However when women leave, they usually leave with their heart. Men, if this is your situation, our system might help you interact more positively with her and your children, but sadly we cannot offer hope for a full recovery. Please read the Men's FAQ for more information.
For all other circumstances, we can help. Your relationship is unique and the problems you are facing probably seem pretty complex and huge. But in our experience they are all easily resolvable if you fix the right things. If you focus on the symptoms (i.e. the cheating or fighting), you'll never resolve the real problems and fix the marriage. If you have any questions about your unique situation, feel free to contact our counselors.
How Long Will It Take To Save My Marriage?
Most people experience individual results in days. Definite marriage improvements might take from days to weeks, though some difficult cases might take longer. Once you're past the trouble zone, your marriage will continue to improve from there. Many of our clients tell us that even years later, their marriages are still getting better day after day.
Our courses are delivered over two months. Every week you'll receive new lessons for you to study and practice in your marriage. Just follow the course, apply the principles, and you'll see for yourself within the first two months (though usually the first week) that our system is working. Our 90 day guarantee covers you in case you aren't sure right away.
The course structure was designed by our founder, Paul Friedman, who personally trained hundreds of clients. He found there are some key lessons like the S.E.W. technique that you must learn and use every day in your marriage to effect a permanent recovery.
However we get emails all the time from students who really took the system seriously. After starting the course, they use the S.E.W. technique in all aspects of life, they apply the new concepts and methods of thinking. Things move very quickly for them. Often they write to us something like, "My husband says he likes the new me, but are you sure it will last? How do I convince him I've changed?"
Opening your eyes is the big first step. Establishing the new habits is the next big step, but we assure you, if you stick with it, your marriage will permanently change. Your spouse will be convinced over time and often will join you in making improvements.
Does It Really Work Even If Only One Spouse Takes The System?
Yes absolutely. This is unique about our system, and once you understand the principles we teach, and why marriages succeed or fail, you'll see for yourself it makes complete sense.
Even if only one of you is willing to learn and apply these principles (regardless of who committed the errors), that one can still enjoy the benefits of an incredible marriage. Time and time again, we see one spouse start their course, all fighting stops, peace descends on their home, our student becomes happier than ever, and their spouse starts wondering what happened. The buttons they used to push no longer work, the arguments never come. Their spouse often becomes interested in how they can participate in making their marriage amazing.
We've had cases such as a husband left the home to move in with a younger woman. But the wife was not willing to give up. She took the course, eliminated all fighting and negative interactions with her husband, forgave and loved him (a tough pill to swallow for sure, but she wanted a happy marriage, not to blame her spouse) and after several months he moved back home. They rebuilt a wonderful marriage from that point on. We can't promise results like this to everyone, but we have seen some amazing miracles.
My Spouse Is The Problem. How Can I Fix Them?
Many clients come to us with this question. You already know from your own experiences that people only truly change when they make the effort themselves.
Very often when a spouse makes a mistake, the impulse to react negatively is strong. However this reaction is nearly as destructive for your marriage as the initial mistake, because it perpetuates the cycle of negative reactions (fights, cold shoulders, yelling, etc). Surely you've already seen this happen, over and over again in your marriage.
We have found a way to break this cycle and teach you how in our system. Learning this is essential for a happy marriage.
You must learn to stop the impulse that drives your negative reactions. After this, when your spouse makes a mistake, you can respond with love and wisdom. We do not teach you to become a doormat. Instead, we teach you how to respond from an empowered place where you can choose the action that is best for your marriage, rather than respond from a hurt, victim, or emotional place.
When you have changed your own attitudes and behaviors, you will see a marked improvement in how your spouse reacts to you. When you respond only with love, it's very hard for them to put up a fight or continue making mistakes.
Is Your Course Religious Or From A Religious Organization?
The Marriage Foundation is not affiliated with any other organization, religious or otherwise. We have clients in 27 different countries who are atheists and followers of all faiths. We have clients referred to us by pastors, rabbis, and other religious leaders who have reviewed our materials. Our principles, books and courses are practical, not religious and work for all religious, spiritual, and atheist marriages.
Here is a summary of the "spiritual" tenets discussed in our system:
No one can deny that we have a consciousness. Religious circles call this a soul. Same thing.
Marriage counseling, based in western psychology, believes that we are an organism: a body and brain that has developed consciousness as a result of its chemical processes.
Our courses are based in eastern psychology which believes that we are a consciousness that possesses a body and mind. Evolution isn't denied, it's just that we are not biology, we are consciousness inhabiting biology.
How we got here is for religions to decide. We don't care unless it is useful for your marriage. However this fundamental difference in marriage help derives from the question of what we are, which is critically important for your marriage.
If you ARE a body, then your consciousness is a perpetual victim of the emotions and habits that drive 90% or more of your actions. You have no control over your life. Love is just a chemical that comes and goes solely as a response to outward stimuli or inward chemical reactions. You are simply a pinball being bounced around as your emotional triggers fire all day long.
However if you ARE a consciousness, though most of our actions are still driven by emotions and habits, we can separate ourselves from them because we are not them. They are our possessions. They are like wild horses driving our chariot. If in our whole life, we've never controlled the reins, the horses fight when we start to drive. But with the right process and patience, we can rein in our emotions and habits.
Because we regard humans as a consciousness or a soul, we regard marriage as a union between souls seeking to exchange Love, rather than between organisms seeking to experience chemical highs. In our system we use the words consciousness and soul, and God and Love interchangeably. However we don't preach any dogma. We don't care what you believe as to how we got here or where we are going. You don't even have to take our word for any of it. Unlike religion, everything we teach is provable through your own experience, in your own life.
We maintain that trying to fix your marriage without exercising any control over your emotions, mind, and expressions is futile. So being just an organism permanently and hopelessly subject to outward stimuli and chemistry will never make your marriage work.
However approaching your marriage as a "spiritual union" between two consciousnesses has proven very effective. It provides a useful conceptual model even atheists can accept. Now we are beings who naturally love but that expression gets blocked by bad mental habits like yelling, criticism, and other negative emotional reactions. Once we learn to control them, our natural love can flow freely.
Which conceptual model resonates most profoundly with you? Are you the result of a chemical reaction; an organism subject entirely to (and not responsible for) your own biology? Or are you a consciousness with free will that has the ability (and responsibility) to manage your own emotions and mind so you can freely love your spouse? If you are comfortable at least working within the latter conceptual model, then you'll have no problem using our system.
If you want a happy marriage, give our approach a shot. We can show you how to have an incredibly happy marriage, regardless of your religious beliefs. However feel free to contact one of our counselors if you would like to discuss this topic further.
Are You A Non-Profit or For-Profit Organization?
The Marriage Foundation was established in California in 2009 as a 501(c)(3) educational non-profit organization. We are registered as Global Foundation For Marriage, dba The Marriage Foundation.
Prior to founding the organization, Paul Friedman had been developing and testing his marriage saving material through his private practice, beginning in 2003. He established the foundation so we could spread this very necessary instruction worldwide, hence the name Global Foundation For Marriage.
If you would like to participate in our cause, purchase our books or video course and improve your marriage. Create a good example for your kids, and tell others about us. You can also provide a tax-deductible donation, which helps out tremendously.
"I'm so happy to have the support I am now getting from you. I'm really delighted with the course and am very much enjoying it."
Los Angeles, CA
"The fighting began before the baby. The problem is we are both so stubborn and always want the last word, instead of trying to sort it out. There is so much love in our relationship but it was always pushed to the back because of our constant bickering. Now we know how to work things out calmly and respectfully!"
"I never understood what a spiritual marriage was, or how to include God in our marriage. I am not religious and didn't want to hear all that crap (pardon the language). But now I get it! ...and I read all the self-help stuff by Tony Robbins and others but never understood about controlling the mind before. You helped us! What can I say... most unexpected, but most happy. Thanks. Can't fail now..."
"It’s now been 3 months and things are getting better. We are communicating more openly, and he is slowly coming back to the marriage."
"I feel very reassured to know that I have this access. It means everything to me right now, and certainly it is a tool I will use ongoing to keep my marriage alive and well. Things are going great for me purely from this new information I am learning. Going from rock bottom to a transformed relationship is nothing short of a miracle."
"Some of what you said seemed really cheesy. But I have to admit, it worked and things are better than ever."
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Read reviews from our worldwide clients, as well as psychologists, clergy, and other marriage professionals.