#1 Marriage System
Over 95% of clients experience dramatic, permanent improvement.
No other system delivers results as fast.
"My husband and I are doing great, thanks to you. Life is looking good again, and we have managed to come through our issue. We are still together and very happy. Thank you!"
– Mary & Herman N.
Save Your Marriage in 12 Weeks
We guarantee your marriage will improve dramatically, or you will get your money back.
Many of our clients came to us after spending thousands of dollars and 6-12 months in marriage counseling, only to discover it had done nothing for them. Using our system, they were able to turn their marriage around for a fraction of the cost, and in only a few weeks.
We've found that traditional counseling (i.e. psychoanalysis) works well for personal issues, but fails when applied to marriages. This is clearly demonstrated in divorce rates. Marriage counseling has been around for 100 years, and in that time, the rate of divorce has gone up 300%!
Our founder, Paul Friedman, devised a new approach that is focused on educating people. It empowers couples by providing them with the knowledge of what drives their spouse's behavior and their own. Clients learn tools that help them communicate constructively with each other, put an end to fighting, and connect on a far deeper level. They get an understanding of how to nurture true, unconditional love. Our clients are not only able to resolve current problems, they also easily navigate any future marital challenge.
By empowering the individual, we've proven that our unique system works even if only one spouse uses it!
Imagine feeling empowered in your marriage
You no longer have to feel disconnected, disrespected, or unloved. By understanding how marriage works, and by having the right tools, you'll enjoy the security and love that comes from living in a harmonious marriage.
Our system is comprehensive yet simple to understand and to apply to your marriage. We have refined it by working with thousands of couples, over 15 years. TMF was founded as a non-profit organization, with a mission to end divorce by spreading this revolutionary system around the world.
We currently have clients in over 45 countries.
Don't suffer another day. Read about our system below, and let's get started making you happy again.
New York, NY
"You were literally our last chance. My husband didn't want to go to counseling or talk or anything. The system really worked for us. It didn't take very long, and I hardly needed your help. But you REALLY helped when I really needed encouragement. Thank you, thank you, thank you."
What's In The TMF Marriage System?
Online Videos You Can Watch Anywhere
Watch your video classes on any device, 24x7, anywhere. Each course contains around 50 videos and written lessons, spread out over two months. Each week, you'll receive new, uplifting and informative lessons selected and presented by our founder, Paul Friedman. Once you receive a lesson, you'll have permanent access to it so you can work at your own pace, or go back and review.
Different Men's and Women's Courses
Women and men see themselves, their spouse, and their marriage in completely different ways. Providing separate courses is one of the true highlights of our system as we are able to give you each a unique, positive view of your spouse like you've never had before. Marriage is supposed to be positive and happy, just like this course.
Step By Step Instruction
The courses guide you along a deliberate path that will ensure your success and ultimate happiness. Just watch the videos, apply what you are learning to your marriage and ask questions when you get stuck. It works, and you can do it.
Your marriage will become a fountain of tangible love and joy, ever flowing for you, your spouse, and your children to drink from.
The dream we all got married for can be a reality, but only once the negativity is cleared away, the misunderstanding is replaced with wisdom, and real unconditional love is expressed. Our clients have turned that dream into a reality. It doesn't have to be a dream for you anymore, either.
These are the steps you will be guided through in order to improve your marriage:
Step 1 - Eliminate All Fighting
As soon as you sign up, you'll learn how to stop fighting, giving your spouse the cold shoulder, eliminate all negative forms of communication, and techniques for how to cool down emotions. This will allow your marriage to stabilize and your home to become peaceful again.
Step 2 - Rebuild The Foundation Of Your Marriage
Next, you will learn about The 3 Killers of Marriage™, about behaviors that are destructive or beneficial to your marriage, effective communication, and the unique natures you and your spouse express. This will form a solid foundation for you both to construct your ideal marriage.
Step 3 - Create An Unconditional Marriage
To elevate your marriage to the highest plane, the courses cover subjects like how to live with your spouse in a Sacred Space™, how your children fit within your new marriage, how to achieve unconditional love, and how to build a marriage that gets better every day.
Click below to expand the sections.
Read About An Example Technique
Your emotions do not distinguish between truly life threatening situations and things that don't really matter, like towels left on the bathroom floor, or the fact that someone was rude to you. That's why many mundane situations can trigger emotions that are as powerful as the emotions we might experience while being mugged or physically attacked.
In relationships, we often establish habitual responses. This means we already know how our spouse will react to a given situation, and in certain situations this can be helpful. But if our habits have become negative emotional reactions such as yelling, giving cold shoulders, or being judgmental or critical, then they no longer are helpful and instead become the drivers for the destruction of our marriage.
It's scary to realize that as much as 90% of our actions could be driven by our habits.
Once you realize this and see for yourself how your words are harming your spouse, you still might not be able to stop them before they slip out in the heat of an argument.
It is very difficult to change the habits that drive our lives. Paul created a special technique called S.E.W. which is truly revolutionary in its ability to help us get a handle on our reactive tendencies and to slice through negative habits.
Even beginners with the S.E.W. technique can learn to stop harmful words right away. With regular practice, you'll even be able to stop the negative emotions before they arise. In their place you'll have the freedom to express love and wisdom appropriate for the situation.
With the S. E.W. technique, you will still be able to deal with the real problems in life, but you'll do so from a more peaceful and happier place, which will allow your marriage to flourish.
Watch A Selected Video From The Women's Course
The Powerful Woman: Setting Your Intentions
Watch A Selected Video From The Men's Course
Communication: Must Do's For Men
Ongoing Support From TMF Certified Counselors
Our counselors are trained and certified in the principles taught by Paul Friedman. They are readily available to answer your questions. This service is included in the price of the system. Just write to them through the client portal, and they will get back to you promptly.
This is not therapy or traditional counseling. They won't explore your childhood, or psychoanalyze you. They will help you to understand and to apply our principles to your marriage.
An Unconditional, 90-Day Money Back Guarantee
Most people see progress within the first week. The courses take 2 months to complete, but you'll have a full 90 days to decide if this is right for you. If not, just let us know and we'll refund 100% of the money you paid.
Complete Marriage System
No Risk Free Trial + Money Back GUARANTEE
"TMF helped me find the peace I was longing for, from what seemed like an impossible situation. It caused such a transformation in my marriage, which was on the way to divorce. TMF continues to make changes for peace, happiness and beautiful love in our marriage. Because of TMF we celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. In the decades of my experience, besides God and the Bible, there is no other successful marital help like it. It is deeply appreciated."
Frequently Asked Questions
Click a question to expand the section.
What Situations Can You Help?
Over the years, we have seen some true miracles happen. Many of our clients had already sought advice from a long line of ineffective counselors. Others had been turned away by counselors because their problems seemed too difficult. Yet, in the end, they were able to save their marriage with our methods. We have helped couples in all of the following situations and more:
- Cheating and emotional affairs
- Lack of intimacy
- Fallen out of love
- Constant fighting, nagging, criticism
- Having lazy, depressed, or withdrawn spouses
- Being on the brink of a separation or divorce
- Resenting your spouse
- Poor communication
- Verbal and emotional abuse
Are There Couples You Can't Help?
Usually we can help couples that other professionals can't or won't help. However there are some unfortunate circumstances in which even we cannot help:
1) If there is physical abuse.
If you or your children are in danger, we do not recommend you stay in the home. Get away from the abuser and into a safe environment. However, we have seen couples move back in together when it was safe to do so.
2) If you or your spouse is abusing drugs or alcohol.
Realize that chronic abuse of any substance is never good when you want to make positive changes. Dealing with the tensions in your marriage is already difficult enough without the added burdensome effects caused by drugs and alcohol. Even in this situation, our system will certainly be beneficial for your marriage, but please seek professional help to address the substance abuse.
3) If your wife has left the home and is involved with another man.
We have not been able to save marriages in this situation. It is different if the husband leaves due to a different motivation driving the separation. Even after they had been living with a younger woman for months, we've seen wives who were determined to save their marriage be able to reconcile with their husbands. However, when women leave, they usually leave "with their heart". Men, if this is your situation, our system might help you interact more positively with her and your children, but sadly we cannot offer hope for a full recovery. Please read the Men's FAQ for more information.
In all other circumstances, we can help.
To you, the problems you are facing may seem huge and pretty complex, but in our experience they are usually easily resolvable if you know what to fix and how to fix it. If you focus on the symptoms (i.e. the cheating or fighting), you will never resolve the underlying, real problems and will not be able to make progress in healing the marriage.
If you have any questions about your unique situation, feel free to contact our counselors.
How Long Will It Take To Save My Marriage?
Most people experience individual results in days. Certain marriage improvements might take from days to weeks, and difficult cases can take longer. Once you are out of the danger zone, your marriage will continue to improve from there. Many of our clients tell us that even years later their marriages are still getting better day after day.
Our courses are delivered over a period of two months. Every week you'll receive new lessons for you to study and practice in your marriage. Just follow the course, apply the principles, and you'll see for yourself within the first two months that our system is working, though usually you'll notice a dramatic shift in the first week. Our 90 day guarantee covers you in case you are not satisfied.
The structure of our course was designed by our founder Paul Friedman, who personally trained hundreds of clients. He stresses the fact that there are some key lessons such as learning the S.E.W. technique and using it every day in your marriage in order to bring about a permanent recovery.
We constantly receive emails from students who really took the system seriously. After starting the course, they learned the S.E.W. technique and the new concepts and methods of thinking, then applied these to all aspects of their lives. Often they write to us asking questions like, 'My husband says he likes the new me, and so do I. I'm happier than I've ever been, but how can I be sure it will last? How do I convince him I've changed?'
Opening your eyes is the first big step. Establishing new habits is next, and we assure you that if you stick with it, your marriage will permanently change. Your spouse will be convinced over time and, more often than not, will join you in making improvements.
Does It Really Work, Even If Only One Spouse Takes The Course?
Yes, absolutely. This is what makes our system so unique. Once you understand why marriages succeed or fail, and study the principles we teach, you'll see for yourself that they make perfect sense.
Even if only one of you is willing to learn and apply these principles (regardless of who committed the errors), that partner will definitely still enjoy the benefits of an incredible marriage. Time and time again, we see that when one spouse starts taking the course, fighting stops, peace descends on the home, our student becomes happier than ever, and the spouse starts wondering what happened.
The improvement is so remarkable that the spouse often becomes interested in learning how he or she can participate in the process too.
We've had cases in which a husband left the home to move in with a younger woman. The wife, however, was not willing to give up, so she took the course, eliminated all fighting and negative interactions with her husband, forgave and loved him (a tough pill to swallow, for sure, but her goal was to have a happy marriage, not to blame her spouse) and after several months he moved back home. They rebuilt a wonderful marriage from that point on. We can't promise results like this to everyone, but we have seen some amazing miracles.
My Spouse Is The Problem. How Can I Fix Him Or Her?
Many of our clients come to us with this question. But you already know from your own experience that you can't change others and people only truly change when they make the effort themselves.
The only way to improve your spouse's behavior that we have seen consistently work is the following:
Very often when a spouse makes a mistake, your impulse to react negatively is strong. Your reaction is nearly as destructive for your marriage as the initial mistake, because it perpetuates a cycle of negative reactions (fighting, giving cold shoulders, yelling, etc). Surely you've already seen this happen, over and over again in your marriage.
We have found a way to break this cycle and we teach how to do that in our system. Learning this is essential for a happy marriage.
You must learn to stop the impulse that drives your negative reactions. Once you have mastered this, then you will be able to respond with love and wisdom whenever your spouse makes a mistake. We do not teach you to become a doormat. Instead, we teach you how to respond from an empowered place where you can choose the action that is best for your marriage, rather than responding from a place of feeling hurt, upset, or feeling like a victim.
When you have changed your own attitudes and behaviors, you will then see a marked improvement in how your spouse reacts to you. When you respond only with love, it's very hard for him or her to put up a fight or to intentionally continue making mistakes.
Is Your Course Religious Or From A Religious Organization?
The Marriage Foundation is not affiliated with any other organization, religious or otherwise. We have clients in over 45 different countries who are followers of all faiths or atheists. We have clients referred to us by pastors, rabbis, and other religious leaders who have reviewed our material. Our principles, books and courses are practical, not religious and work in all religious, spiritual, and atheist marriages.
Here is a summary of the "spiritual" tenets discussed in our system:
No one can deny that we have a consciousness. Religious circles call this a soul, but it's the same thing.
Marriage counseling, based in western psychology, begins with the premise that we are an organism: a body and brain that has developed consciousness as a result of its chemical processes.
Our courses are based in eastern psychology, which begins with the premise that we are a consciousness that possesses a body and mind. Evolution isn't denied, but our starting point is that our essence is consciousness inhabiting biology, not just a product of physical, biological processes.
How we got here is for religions to decide. It's not important to us unless it is useful for your marriage. However, the fundamental difference in marriage-help solutions derives from the question of what we are, which is critically important for your marriage.
If you are a body, then that implies that your consciousness is a perpetual victim of the emotions and habits that drive 90% or more of your actions. This basically means that you have no control over your life and that love is just a chemical that comes and goes solely as a response to outward stimuli or inward chemical reactions.
However if you are a consciousness then although most of our actions are still driven by emotions and habits, we can separate ourselves from them because we are not 'them'. We own them as possessions. You can compare habits and emotions to wild horses driving our chariot. If in our whole life, we've never taken control of the reins, the horses will fight and pull in different directions. However, with the right process and patience, we can learn to rein them in.
By regarding humans as a consciousness or a soul, marriage becomes a union between souls seeking to exchange Love, rather than a union between organisms seeking to experience chemical highs.
In our system the words 'consciousness' and 'soul', and 'God' and 'Love' are interchange. However, we don't preach any dogma. Everything we teach can be proven through your own experience, in your own life.
We maintain that trying to fix your marriage without exercising any control over your emotions, mind, and expressions is futile. So believing that you are just an organism permanently and hopelessly subject to chemistry and outward stimuli will never allow you or your spouse to make changes and improve your marriage.
However, approaching your marriage as a 'spiritual union' between two 'consciousnesses' has proven to be far more effective than traditional marriage counseling. It provides a useful conceptual model even atheists can accept. This means we are beings who love naturally but its expression is blocked by bad mental habits like yelling, criticizing, and other negative emotional reactions. Once we learn to control those reactions, our natural love can flow freely. Even love itself becomes an energetic force, rather than just the chemicals in the body.
Which conceptual model resonates most profoundly with you? Are you the result of a chemical reaction; an organism entirely subject to your own biology and not responsible for your own behavior? Or are you a consciousness with free will that has the ability and responsibility to manage your own emotions and mind so you can freely love your spouse? If you are at least comfortable working within this latter conceptual model, then you'll have no problem using our system.
If you want a happy marriage, give our approach a shot. We can show you how to have an incredibly happy marriage, regardless of your religious beliefs.
Feel free to contact one of our counselors if you would like to discuss this topic further.
Are You A Non-Profit or For-Profit Organization?
The Marriage Foundation was established in California in 2009 as a 501(c)(3) educational non-profit organization. We are registered as Global Foundation For Marriage, dba The Marriage Foundation.
From 2003 onward, prior to founding the organization, Paul Friedman had already been developing and testing his marriage-saving material in his private practice. He felt it necessary to establish the foundation so that it would be possible to bring people from all over the world into contact with this much needed methodology.
If you would like to participate in growing our cause and helping marriages worldwide, the best way is to purchase our books or courses and improve your own marriage. By living an ideal example for your kids and others to see, you will leave a lasting impact on society. Other ways to support the foundation are by sharing our social media posts, recommending us to your friends, or by providing a tax-deductible donation, all of which help tremendously.
"I'm so happy to have the support I am now getting from you. I'm really delighted with the course and am very much enjoying it."
Los Angeles, CA
"The fighting began before the baby. The problem is we are both so stubborn and always want the last word, instead of trying to sort it out. There is so much love in our relationship but it was always pushed to the back because of our constant bickering. Now we know how to work things out calmly and respectfully!"
"I never understood what a spiritual marriage was, or how to include God in our marriage. I am not religious and didn't want to hear all that crap (pardon the language). But now I get it! ...and I read all the self-help stuff by Tony Robbins and others but never understood about controlling the mind before. You helped us! What can I say... most unexpected, but most happy. Thanks. Can't fail now..."
"It’s now been 3 months and things are getting better. We are communicating more openly, and he is slowly coming back to the marriage."
"I feel very reassured to know that I have this access. It means everything to me right now, and certainly it is a tool I will use ongoing to keep my marriage alive and well. Things are going great for me purely from this new information I am learning. Going from rock bottom to a transformed relationship is nothing short of a miracle."
"Some of what you said seemed really cheesy. But I have to admit, it worked and things are better than ever."
Want To Read More Reviews?
Read reviews from our worldwide clients, as well as psychologists, clergy, and other marriage professionals.