![The Path to Lasting Marital Bliss](https://d1i4xg2nf7m7n6.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/couple-with-arms-around-by-pillar-laughing-800x533.jpg)
Naturally, the path to lasting marital bliss: unveiling the five essential pillars of harmony is an intriguing topic. In the world today the idea of just having a good marriage seems so out of reach. Most couples are pretty happy to just get through the day without a fight. But donāt worry about others. Donāt let the experiences of the majority scare you out of the idea that marital bliss is not only possible but something you can count on when you know how. Letās dig in. I know from experience, not just theory. I have seen many marriages that were heading in the wrong direction turn it around. I am living it, and we teach others how to achieve marital bliss through our marriage help courses. We have been helping marriages that are in trouble for nearly a quarter of a century with our courses that help decent marriages, or failing marriages for that matter, become amazing. We have free Yutube videos, articles, and books. In this article Iāll share five essential pillars of harmony, important because to begin with there are 3 bottom line reasonable expectations that we all have for our marriage, and harmony is number three among the equals.
- HappinessMarriage is all about love and happiness. We fall in love with our soulmates and then want to marry them. But why? The simple truth is we know intuitively that together we will be happier than without them. Being in love and together will bring us happiness. It is all about love and happiness.
- LoveThe love we are talking about is not the elusive kind I would call āemotionalā love which can be thought of as increased ālikeā or sexual attraction. That kind of āloveā is a mere shadow of the love we crave, heartās love or soul love. Outer occurrences, like getting something we crave certainly make us happy for a time, but itās only fleeting happiness. Emotions are of the mind, based on circumstances, outer conditions, and how we see things in the moment. Real Love, with a capital L, is of our soul. It is impregnable and forever, and not so easy to find and experience in this chaotic world. We have all had a glimpse, like at a wedding or when we somehow felt it for our soulmate. It comes seemingly out of nowhere. Itās deep, fulfilling, and we want it all the time. Then there is
- Harmony
Harmony in marriage comes naturally when the first two elements are cultivated and so are present. Living in the ālove and happiness zoneā of marriage with our soulmate is the truest vision harmony. It is a vision of joy. So, because it is so important, letās break harmony down into five essential components, or pillars.
#2 Genuine caringEveryone thinks they care about their spouse, their soulmate, and when things hit the fan just about everyone is right there for the other. This is beautiful, isnāt it? I have seen couples who were on the verge of divorce and then some tragedy hit and the love that was hidden burst their hearts wide open. But why wait for disaster? To raise your level of caring to the point where it has real meaning is the daily mission of the wise. Your partnerās welfare, feelings, and life are just as important as the blood flowing through your veins. Caring is not always ānaturalā to us because of our biology and the drive for āselfā that it imposes. But being proactively caring is going to create a nest of love.Ā Ā
Caring is essential because it sends a constant message of love that cannot be expressed in mere words. It is, again, self-work that brings us to this harmonious state (letās not forget that).Ā Ā
I can recall times when my own buttons were pushed, and I had to introspectively remind myself of my love. It was always well worth it. Deciding to put him or her ahead of self is basic maturity but is easy to forget in crunch time.Ā Ā
Like all things that are clearly noble the world around us is not going to provide inspiration at the time we need it. We must choose this path deliberately and stick to it no matter how triggered we are. The best is to see those triggers as temptations to lower ourselves. Cultivating caring means, you will refuse to go along with any reactiveness and focus instead on developing the habit of caring. Harmony is not just going to happen automatically. We must do what is necessary to cultivate our happiness and love.Ā
#3 ListeningāOh, yea, Iāve heard that one beforeā You already heard from every marriage and relationship expert that listening is an essential part of harmonious communication. We should ālistenā to this sage practical advice to improve harmony.Ā Ā
Unfortunately, the unspoken rule hanging out in our subconscious mind is that we should listen, or pretend to listen, just enough so that ātheyā will āget it outā. Then we can ourselves speak the ātruthā of the matter, which we firmly believe is irrefutable. It is true, isnāt it? That mentality is what most of us are up against in ourselves, and we need to gain control over our own mind to overcome this obstacle to harmony. Only a rare few have mastered themselves enough so that they listen with all their heart, not just their mind, so they can feel what their partner is really saying, really expressing. I know you know you can do this! Make it āthingā for you to work on. The effort you will have to make will pay off in big discernable ways. Developing the art of listening will change you, vibrationally.Ā Ā
I have personal experience with this, too. I used to work on my books at Starbucks (Iām ADHD so the noise around me helped my focus). Because I was trained listener, people, total strangers, would come up to me with questions about their marriages. It was a little strange, but it happened so often that I got used to it, as did other Starbuck regulars.
It is important for you as a soulmate because you want to āfeelā your spouse, so you can love them more, and more deeply. What is more harmonious than love?Ā Ā
While listening it is a good idea to not take anything as if it is about you (even if they are reading you the riot act). Your behaviors may trigger them but it’s still about them and although you are not going to adjust for them, or fix them, or fix the world you want to feel their feelings with compassion and understanding. You are just going to listen. Do you hear me?
#4 SmilingYes! But not some plastered on smile that you practice in front of the mirror, though thatās better than a sour puss face. A sincere smile means that you are content, happy, and not concerned with the worldās junk dramas. You are in love, and it fills your heart to the bursting point and out comes the smile. Thatās the kind of smile Iām talking about.Ā
In some cultures, a smile and even giggling is a way of building bridges even with those who are offensive, and you want to know something? It works. But donāt fake it. If you are not in the mood, then put yourself in the mood. You have free will and you can think, feel, speak, and act in any way you want just because you want to or because you know itās the right way. Some people think they must reflect their inner consternation with this or that, but you donāt have to live that way. You can choose to live in happiness and love. Isnāt that a good idea?Ā
#5 AcceptanceOnce you found your soulmate, you became the luckiest woman or man in the world. You felt the love that was in your heart swell up and consume your life. That was in the beginning, and it was real. If they had any flaws and we all know they had a zillion flaws, you didnāt care because you were in love. Well? Why bother analyzing them, noting their flaws or what they can do to āimproveā? Why not just accept them as your soulmate and not see them as having to fulfill some part of your mundane life?Ā Live for the joy of harmony, love, and happiness.Ā
The mind of every man, woman, and child, is unique and mostly reflects good. But we are on this earth because we belong here with the other āangelsā (me being sarcastic) because we fit in. There is no need on any level, period, to point out their flaws, errors of thinking, or anything else that is not sweet and loving. If you redirect your mind to their qualities of love and connection you can bypass the mental nonsense that is a swamp, nothing but a swamp.Ā
The Path to Lasting Marital Bliss: Unveiling the Five Essential Pillars of Harmony has been a pleasure for me to write and share with you. Since discovering the true teachings of marriage and how blessed we are to have access to this treasure, this gift, I have been living what I learned and helping thousands have the kind of life that God wants us to have, one filled with joy and love, and harmony.