Everyone knows Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a happy time, but if you’ve been married five years or more, it is often relegated to an excuse to be nice and stop fighting. I am not kidding; many couples use Valentine’s Day to break the pattern of war that has taken over their lives. They take a break from the criticism and finger pointing, the yelling and cold shoulders, the sarcastic comments and eye rolling.
Everybody needs a break sometimes from the pressures and tensions of an unhappy marriage. Everyone wants to feel loved a little, just once in a while. Is that what you signed up for when you got married? I certainly hope not. Yet, if you are like 90% of the people in this country, that is exactly what you have: an unhappy marriage. OK, that may sound extreme, but I’m trying to make a point here. You married your true love so you could enjoy a lifetime of the blissful romance you experienced during courting. Is that what you have? Probably not, but it isn’t your fault.
They Don’t Teach “Marriage” In School
Isn’t it amazing that most of us will never really use much math in our daily life, yet schools pump it into our heads as if our life depended on it? On the other hand, we don’t know diddly about relationships, happy marriages, or the other gender, and we’re handed a diploma at graduation as if we are now prepared for life ā it’s ridiculous! The vast majority of us got married with completely false expectations and no idea of what to do, what to say, or how to behave. The fortunate few who went to religious marriage classes mostly got lectured on the roles each must play to fulfill their obligation to marriage; as if marriage is this thing we have to pay homage to.
Suffering From An Unhappy Marriage? Then Study Marriage!
Ignorance Is Everything But Bliss
Here are some straightforward tips for removing Valentine’s Day blues from your unhappy marriage:
- Think nice thoughts about your spouse all day.
- Tell your spouse, “I love you,” at least three times a day and mean it.
- Do not offer any criticism, constructive or otherwise.
- Be more complimentary toward your spouse than you have ever been in your entire life.
- Have no expectations for sex or recognition.
- If you are a man and your spouse wants to have sex with you, relieve the pressure before so you can be attentive to her needs.
There is no reason for anyone to suffer at all in an unhappy marriage. Anyone who has learned to walk can do so successfully, just as anyone who learns how to achieve a happy marriage can do so successfully. Walking successfully brings you to a new place, just as living in a successful marriage brings you to a very high state of joy and security. You don’t need to suffer anymore.