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When you create your own secret wedding vows you add an important and beautiful personal touch to your marriage. It will have lasting, and special, meaning while fulfilling an important marital “rule”.
Nobody but the two of you will EVER know your own secret wedding vows exist. And there are good reasons to keep them secret. By the way, when I say secret I mean NOBODY but the two of you must know.
Our educational premarital program worked when I began using it in 2003, and it always will. Marriage is far too important to pretend you already know what works, or you can figure everything out along the way.
Trusting you will learn-as-you go is as crazy an idea as taking over the controls of a 747. Trusting psychological theory, family tradition or trendy ideas are also proven ways to assure failure. Studying the science of marriage, as laid out for newlyweds is the “sure thing” for couples.
Everything “marriage” has to be provably undeniable, no matter what. Otherwise you are in for a very rough ride. Scientific marital teachings were, and are, useful for troubled marriage or premarital counseling. Science is science. When you create your own secret wedding vows you will laying a powerful block in your marriage’s foundation…why?
Marriage is not meant to be lived publicly. A huge mistake made by many couples is an openness to friends, or family. Whether you are going through a problem, or experiencing unbelievable bliss, nobody should know. As soon as you speak to a close friend, or family member you invite them into your marriage. Clergy, or therapist? Same thing; unless its about you personally. Some think it is fine before you’re engaged ( I don’t). But once you are engaged the doors to your relationship should close to others, forever; period.
When you create your own secret wedding vows, think how special it will be. Think how much you honor each other, sharing such an intimate pact. Nobody but you will ever hear them from the lips of your beloved. No other heart will feel the power of the love that flow with your vows.
My dear friend. I know writing vows is a cool idea for many reasons. But I used it as a way to convey a much more important idea. Once you have chosen each other it is imperative to keep your marriage a sealed world for only you two.
As you progress through our premarital program you will learn all the various reasons why this is so important. But know for certain, those who do not heed this advice always regret it. Marriage is not to be taken lightly; not by those who wish success.
