If you are engaged but argue it does not mean you should call off the wedding, thank God! However, it clearly means you have not learned how to live in harmony; and that is not good.
Why would anyone want to argue for the rest of their married lives?! Why would anyone sign up for a marriage that is filled with discord?
When you are engaged but argue it really undermines your happiness and confidence. You are not supposed to argue at all! Yes, many so-called experts tell us that arguing is okay, and even healthy. But does that really make sense to you? Wouldn’t it be better if all your time together was spent in joy? Of course it is doable!
The idea of arguing is naturally distasteful. People who accept arguing in marriage as “natural” miss the whole point of marriage. They do not realize how different marriage is from the all the other venues of life, and they suffer due to their ignorance.
Are You Engaged But Argue?
The touted reasons for arguments are endless. But all of them stem from common causes.
- Reactive habits. These hidden triggers, which set you off, are just below the conscious mind, in the subconscious. They are the protectors of the mind. Though too complicated for a short article, in our state-of the-art premarital programĀ you will learn all about them, and how to keep them from starting arguments, or keeping them going.
- Not getting your way. I know this sounds like its all your fault, but you have as much power to end arguments as your fiance. It is only a disagreement at first. It takes a reaction to escalate it into an argument.
- Not pausing. True! Usually, if you stop and try to understand your fiance’s point of view, you will not take their comment personally. You will be able to calm your mind, and avoid an argument.
- Expectations. This is almost the commonest cause, because if you did not have expectations you would never argue. Some expectations are like looking for a fight. Others can be expressed in ways that are not offensive.
- Lack of marriage education. I have to say it. If you study marriage before you get married you will never argue. Did he say never? Yes, a healthy marriage is one in which you never (okay maybe once in a great while-accidentally).
Marriage is the most amazing enterprise of all. It is unlike anything else you have ever done, or will do. But you will only know about marriage by first studying it. An excellent marriage is not difficult, but you have to know how to build it.
We are engaged, and we never argue. That is a much better claim!