As an ex-divorce mediator, my job was to structure divorces (but since then I’ve shifted to helping couples stay together), and I heard countless “reasons” for divorce. I would like to share reasons with you that demonstrate the benefits of premarital counseling.
Of course I cannot comment on various benefits provided by sources other than The Marriage Foundation, but these benefits are, in my opinion, important. And best to look into. Here are four reasons that will persuade you to try premarital counseling.
Reason 1 ensures you are both ready for marriage
I met with couples who were not mature enough for marriage. My colleagues and I have all heard the same. “It seemed like a good idea at the time” was a painful comment, especially when children were involved.
Marriage is not like going to the movies or on a weekend trip, in which you go home afterward. It is a serious lifetime commitment. When your marriage succeeds, much joy and happiness occurs. But when it fails, it is a failure that multiplies itself many times over. That is why premarital counseling can help guide you so you will know if itās too soon to tie the knot.
Reason 2 ensures you have chosen well
Honestly, incompatibility is not the worst element in an unhappy marriage. By the time a couple asks for a divorce, at least a few years have passed. Then, it is only a matter of them that they must learn how to get along again.
But there are a few compatibility factors that are more important than agreeing on dinner choices. One example, and you need your own introspection on this, is when one spouse may be pro-life and the other pro-choice. Another example is if one partner is quite religious while the other is atheist and against their children brought up religiously.
Good premarital education will help you review the two above possibilities, along with workable solutions. Sometimes, however difficult it may be, it is best to reevaluate the idea of getting married before you say your vows.
Reason 3 dictates you must learn about the common pitfalls
Imagine you were going for a trek in the desert. But you only had secondhand experience from pictures, stories, and maybe a documentary. Unless you had a death wish, you would study up.
Wouldn’t you want to learn from an expert who has made trekking in the desert a science? A reason for pre marriage education is to know the lay of the land before you risk your married life by winging it.
Reason 4 dictates you must learn the benefits of marriage and how to increase them
When meeting with couples for marriage help, I have always asked, “Why did you want to get married?” Only one couple out of hundreds got it right, because there is a singularly right answer: give unconditional love.
But knowing that answer is not enough. The answer is simple, but learning how to love unconditionally is what the path of marriage is all about. A quality course will teach you the way.
Marriage is the most important relationship, and the most defining life-endeavor, yet it’s the least prepared for of anything we do. We get more training when we buy a new electronic device! Don’t go with the crowd. Get the training you need.
I have given you ample reasons to take a premarital education course. I hope you try one out. I am sure your marriage will then succeed. That is what we all want.