Have you lied to your fiance? It happens. But before you make matters worse, or drive yourself crazy, we need to break things down. We need to decide what is important, and why. Then you can decide what you should do.
You do not need anyone to tell you that lies are not always “evil”. In some cases a lie is not only appropriate, it is the right thing to do. For instance, if you witnessed some drunken big, bad, guy beating on some innocent man. Lets say the innocent guy got free and took off running. The drunk loses his footing and the victim gains some ground, ducks down the ally where you are standing and hangs a left at the end of it. Now, the bad dude, rushing in his direction, and yours, asks you which way did he go. Do you lie? Heck yea! Of course you lie! You lie in order to protect the hapless gent who was being tormented by the drunk. Only an idiot would tell the truth, which in this case could cost an innocent person his life, or at least further beatings.
Lied To Your Fiance? Not Sure What to Do?
So, what did you lie to your fiance about? Will what you lied to them about impact them in the future? Or is it just something you are ashamed about? Are you afraid they will get mad if they find out? Or do you lie all the time, out of habit?
We deal with habits in our premarital program, because you have to control them. Otherwise they will ruin your marriage. Controlling your mind is, in fact, an essential part of a happy marriage. But what if it is not a habit, and you lied about something in your past?
There are obligations you have to each other, of course. When you begin your new marriage it is better if both of you know what things from the past will stay with you. If you were to lie about a child, for instance. You may be able to hide one, but you will never know if your child will come back to you, and now both of you, and they, will be affected.
Probably the most frequent question is whether one should reveal various details about their past sex life. Unless you have contracted a disease which you are going to pass on, it is always a bad idea to share anything about your past sex life! Some men think it makes them look good if they had a lot of partners, because our world is so crazy. But it is indiscreet. Some women think they “owe it” to their future husband to fully inform them of who they slept with…no, no, no!
That which is in the past is over. Your future marriage will be constructed from what you put into it. Your past is over; let it stay buried…and if something from your past comes up later, and you have to lie to protect the feelings of your husband, or wife, do it! Truth is love, not a recitation of the facts.