Begin your 3-Day Free Trial today and start turning things around.
God is ultimately in charge of outcomes, but we must do our part. It is not so simple an equation that all we need to do is petition God through prayer. He won’t grant us the desired outcome just because we ask. He can, of course, override His own rules, and sometimes will, but only when He sees that we are willing to override our habits of wrong thinking and wrongdoing. In this article, I will offer you suggestions to eliminate the inner strain that comes from not having enough from time to time.
All of us get married to our soulmates. However, our choice of whom we marry is rarely pure, because we ourselves are not pure. Obviously, there are other reasons we marry someone. Among those are also subtle thoughts that finances will soon be made easier.
In the “good old days,” women (within castes that had money) knew exactly what was realistic. They married men who could support them in the style to which they were accustomed. Some women reached higher, but rarely. Men, as suitors, sought women they admired, found attractive, and who liked them. They hoped the woman they chose would live within the budget their income would provide, which was not always the case. In those days, options were limited, so couples made do together. Because societies were less modern, individual struggles were accepted and, in some cases, shared. The point is that having enough was usually a bonus and not having enough was not as big a deal as it is today. Not having enough, whatever the apparent cause, was generally taken in stride. The couple was grateful to have each other. They worried, and tried, and sometimes cried together, because of how lack may have hurt their kids, but they had each other. Their focus, if they were smart, was on loving each other.
The lesson of the past is that we have a choice about how to live our marriage. We can be frustrated with our spouse, or we can learn to love them more… and more. It isn’t about missed opportunities, over-spending, or laziness. It is about where we choose to focus our attention and ambitions. In the past, there were fewer distractions, less knowledge about how the wealthy lived, and fewer opportunities. More importantly, for the sake of happiness, there were lower expectations for achieving material prosperity.
Should you lower your expectations for material prosperity? No, not necessarily. But know this: if your expectations for money hinder your ability to love and honor your spouse, then you will not be happy.
In today’s world, in prosperous and impoverished countries alike, some people lose sight of life and are driven to reach for glitter, instead of the golden love that will make them happy. You have a choice. It is not that we shouldn’t have enough, but we must not lose sight of why we are here in the first place.
God has a plan for all of us. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be happy. That includes having or not having. He knows you, and He knows what lessons you need learn. Your life is tailored by God Himself. His program for you leads to learning to love unconditionally, just like He loves us. He sets everything up for us.
We are here to learn to love unconditionally because it is the ONLY thing that will actually make us happy – Nothing else will do that. The other kinds of happiness are false, fleeting, shallow, and unreliable. The joy, the indescribable happiness, the kind you feel when your heart is wide open, is incomparable and complete. God wants us to have love – constantly.
Extreme happiness accompanies open-hearted love.
This is an equation as solid as gravity. It is impossible to give love from the heart and not feel joy. If you feel other things that are negative, it means you are not giving love from your heart; it is that simple, and not an opinion. Our minds lie to us all the time. In this case it is very important to recall the equation before you imagine you already do yet are still not feeling happy.
Here is another solid equation:
When you allow the thoughts of material needs to override your efforts to love without limits, you will suffer. By using your free will and wisdom, you can choose to live in marital bliss or suffer. Free will is powerful when we use it.
Nobody expects you to be perfect. If you, I, and your spouse were perfect, we would not have earned our place in this world of extreme confusion (In my Father’s house there are many mansions). This world is a school and is often painful when we forget that. That pain comes when we are not getting the message. The message is that when we learn to love unconditionally, we are floating in joy. Even when we “suffer,” we don’t have to suffer.
In “The Little Flowers of St Francis,” I read that when Francis was dying, suffering horribly from disease, he was singing praise to God and not suffering at all. One of his quite imperfect (I’m being kind) disciples criticized him for not being solemn during his death – Ha! The saint was floating in bliss because he was giving love to all, unconditionally. He was a saint, able to love all, good and evil alike, unconditionally. We are not quite that advanced. So, for us mortals, God gave us marriage as the perfect place to learn how. We need only love our spouse unconditionally and not worry about the money. Then we will feel joy.
Does your wife spend more than you make? I get it.
Does your husband buy porn instead of flowers for you? I get it.
If you learn to love your husband or wife unconditionally, they will stop!
I know most “experts” would tell you how to “talk it out” or do this or do that. I know. I’ve been in this marriage-help world for a long time. But I don’t want you, who hears this, to know the bottom-line truth.
It is not about the money, the disrespect, or any of the other ego-based traps of life. It is about how God loves you and wants you to learn to love, just your spouse for now, unconditionally. Other advice will keep you locked in little rooms without windows or doors, also known as egos. I want you to have it all. This is how you can have it all. Learn to love them, unconditionally.
